Hyperthymesia
by Neru Neko Chan
Summary: When magic suddenly fills the realm of Amnesia through unknown causes, everything finds themselves to be humanized, including Stephano, Mr. Piggeh, Mr. Chair... And the barrels. Calling upon Felix was probably not their best choice, but the threat is rising and they need to put a stop to it. Through lies, trust, deceit, and sacrifice, they will stop at nothing to save PewDiePie.
1. Prologue

_Hey guys, this is my first PewDiePie inspired fiction. (OH GOD SHUT UP GOOGLE CHROME I KNOW HOW TO SPELL MY FAVORITE YOUTUBE GAMER GOSH. AND I KNOW HOW TO SPELL YOUTUBE TOO!) I really did plan out a huge plot for this fiction. This idea for this fic was sitting in limbo in my enigma of a mind for months now, and I've decided to publish the first chapter now. I do not own the rights to the characters used or the person who made them. I simply made a story._

_Also, if I ever get RPG Maker, I might make it into a game. But I suck at making games so deal with it._

_Disclaimer: I don't own._

_Warning: M for language, romance, gore, character death, adventure, drinking, drugs, sexual actions, and other._

_Pairings: Felix x Marzia, Felix x Stephano, Felix x Cry, Piggeh x Chair, Chair x Mayo, Red x Sammy Sue, Torchy x Chair, Piggeh x Everyone, Gonzales x Stephano, Gonzales x Sammy Sue, Gonzales x Torchy_

_There's a lot of pairings. Get over it._

_Also, I'm making it my goal to write at least 2,000 words per chapter. This chapter just makes the cut because it is 2,000 words exactly._

_Enjoy._

* * *

_ "I'll name him… Stephano. Come on, Stephano!"_

At the time, it was a simple phrase, a one-liner to pique the interest of the easily attracted viewers. But to him, it meant the world.

* * *

The night sky was a black wormhole sprinkled with luminescent twinkling, shining brightly in the Italian town. Bedroom set to match, the monitor shined blindingly in contrast, the blinking letters and numbers faded into the white background. He shouldn't have waited so late to upload his videos, and he was tired to boot. Slumping over his computer chair, he tapped his lazy fingers, waiting patiently as the 64% on the screen slowly turned into a 65%.

"Felix," he heard a small voice call from outside his bedroom. The door creaked open to reveal a youthful lady with cascading caramel hair and tanned skin, all concealed with stylish pajamas with frills and dogs dotting the fuzzy pants. "Felix, it's late. Why aren't you sleeping?"

The man smiled at his girlfriend tiredly. "Last video, Marzia," he yawned. "I'm going to upload it and then sleep, I promise."

Marzia sighed, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning against the doorframe. "I don't want you playing so late at night. It might ruin your health."

"I'm not playing—"

"Sleep is good!"

Felix intended on rolling his eyes, but instead closed them for a rest. "Alright, alright. The moment this uploads, I'm done."

Marzia smiled and approached her boyfriend, placing a small kiss on his forehead. "I'll see you in the morning."

He, in turn, smiled back. "Of course."

Turning her pink clad back on him, Marzia cooed, "Goodnight, PewDiePie."

"Goodnight."

The door was once again closed and Felix slumped back into his chair. _"Just a little bit more to go,"_ he thought, staring at the mind-numbing screen. It always took a long time to upload videos, and often he would go to the outside world while he could. But, at nights like these, he was obdurate. He couldn't simply step out for a while. And it was much too late and he was much too tired to record another walkthrough. So, he stayed and waited.

Up on top of Felix's shelf, just above his dresser near his bed, stood three gifts he got from his loyal followers. He always held these presents dear to him, it showed him how utterly and stupidly funny he was, and how much he enjoyed it, and how much it paid off. Felix loved having his job online—he couldn't have asked for a better one. He would have continued to make videos even if he wasn't getting paid, simply because playing games was what he wanted to do. His life was made.

Even so, he had a life outside to maintain. Marzia was always looking at his videos enthusiastically, and she enjoyed watching every last one of them. It was through online interaction that pulled them together after all. But that still didn't change the fact that Felix needed to treat her like his girlfriend. He didn't want to wallow by himself all the time. He wanted to spend their youth together, no matter how much sacrifice needed to be made, simply because he loved her.

Swirling thoughts of conflicting responsibilities gyrated in Felix's head, and he took off his headphones and laid his head down on the edge of his desk for comfort. His weary eyes needed a moment of peace, and he was willing to give in, if only for a minute or two. As soon as he fell into a comfortable hunch, he did not catch his snoring as he wafted into a new realm unknown to him.

Meanwhile, the browser continued to load: 70%... 69%... 68%...

* * *

He did not know when he woke up or where he did, of even how he got there, but one thing was for sure: Felix was not in his warm and toasty bed, waking up to the sun shining through his window or the bright, bubbly voice of his lover. Instead, for a delightful compensation, his head was pounding and his bones aches from the lack of cushioning for the entire time of sleep. His eyes were bleary and mind clouded, but he was able to make out the faint dripping sound of stalactites from a certain distance. The ground was damp and soft with dirt and maggots, and support beams were embedded within the walls, marking rooms and keeping the ceiling from collapsing upon it. The scene looked very familiar…

"Amnesia…?" he asked himself, hissing through his teeth as he stood up in his high tops. "'s so real…" Curiously, Felix put one hand on the moldy archway, scratching off some sort of semi-deadly fungi. "Is it real? No, can't be. I must be dreaming."

Aside from the steady drip-drips of the distilled moisture, the only noise that Felix could make out was the soft padding of his shoes and the shakiness of his own breath, coming out in white wisps of fog, even though the area wasn't as cold as he would expect.

_"So real…"_

Felix was so lost in his own hazy thoughts that when he tripped over something metal, his heart skipped three beats as he face planted the dirt, burning his palms over the sediment raw. "Ah—ow!" He grinded his teeth and hissed, holding his hands to his body. The ground was much coarser than first thought, because seconds brought warm rubicund liquid rushing down his palm in rivers. Lightly patting his wounded hands on his shirt, smearing droplets of blood on the black and white "brofist" and looking around, Felix spied the metal device that caused his demise. A half-damaged, old, rusty lantern lay at his feet.

_"A lantern in Amnesia… how nostalgic. And to have it lying around like this."_ Picking the lantern up by the thin handle and shaking the broken glass out of the canister, he examined the object a bit more. _"If this is Amnesia, then… Oil. I need oil for the lantern to turn it on."_

The traverse between his point and the next encounter with something of interest seemed to take as long as it took a leap-year baby to turn forty. Albeit, his hands were now almost positively catching infection, Felix leaped with glee as he reached a simple wooden door in a long string of rooms that structured the hallway. _"I fucking hate corridors…" _Hopefully, at least one room had the goods he wanted.

Through the pain and burning in his palms, he smeared his blood on the doorknob as he pushed the door open. _"I need to find oil or something otherwise my sanity will go down… hm?"_ The moment Felix walked through the doors, the dim light from the hallway shown onto a perfectly placed note atop the table in the room's center, along with a can of oil for him specifically. Cautiously approaching the set as if it would jump out at him, he landed his land on the oil can. Letting out a long sigh of relief to calm his heart, he quickly took the oil and poured it into his makeshift lantern. Instantly, the fire turned on. _"Alright!"_ he cheered to himself. _"Genius Pewds strikes again!"_

Now that the room was so much lighter, Felix could now read. Picking up the note on which words were scrawled and scribbled in haste on dead, crackling paper, he read the note to himself.

"First of all, Pewdie, you must come to the center of the map. The center of the map is where the Grunts, Kaernks and Brutes can't get to. Move quickly and don't be such a pussy; Mr. Chair, Mr. Piggeh, and I will be waiting. And try not to get sidetracked either. I know that you easily lose focus if I'm not there, but sadly, I have to watch your back in case danger arrives."

"That's weird," Felix said, throwing the paper on the desk. "It must be a custom mod. Wait… Does that mean Stephano is waiting for me?!" Running with newly founded mirth to meet his friends, Felix exited the room and went through the corridor, looking for his friends. "Where would they be…?" Opening a door with a loud "MEH," Felix came across nothing in particular. _"This place lacks teleporting naked guys. Good. I hate teleporting naked guys."_

Scrutinizing all of the rooms and coming across several bottles of laudanum and sanity potions, he was surprised by the low-key, mellow aura of the room. The corridor was friendlier and the well timed whispers of the walls were nearly missed.

"It seems that I just need to continue on… BARRELS!" Felix screeched, running toward the cold wooded drum and slapping them with the palm of his hand, knocking them all over. "RUBRAWRUBRAWBU! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! WERE YOU EAVESDROPPING ON ME?! HUH?!" Felix smacked the enemy one more time before storming off. "Damn barrels… I hate barrels…"

Meanwhile, the barrels whispered among themselves.

_"He's alive…"_

_ "… knew it…"_

_ "… plan… action…"_

_ "… ow…"_

_ "Tell…les…"_

* * *

When he left the corridor with a lack of supplies, bros, and excitement, though he'd never admit it, Felix was slightly unsatisfied with the scenario. Not once did he come across one of his friends. Perhaps this was Hell. A place with nothing happening and nothing bound to happen. Everything was just as it is with nothing to look forward to. _"This is so weird,"_ Felix admitted, feeling slightly unnerved at the plainness of it all. _"Is anything going to happen? These custom maps are the strangest things…"_

Now that he thought of it, he never remembered logging into Steam or even getting on his computer, making his intro, talking to the bros. _"Maybe it's just a dream?"_

"Maybe if I just go to sleep here, I'll wake up in my bedroom as if nothing happened," Felix said to himself, looking for a bed to lay on. He had long forgotten his quest to the location Stephano gave him, and was more focused in going home, leaving this dream before it turns macabre, even if it was going to put his life in danger. In one room, he found a bloodstained mattress with claw marks on it. "Ew, somebody had their period!" he squeaked to nobody in particular, laying hesitantly on the frail sheets. Luckily, the blood had long since dried over. Felix then turned off the lantern without anything else to do and closed his eyes, waiting for sleep.

"THAT IDIOT!"

As if on cue, a servant Grunt let out a low growl before banging his claws on the door leading to the sleeping gamer. _"Oh no!"_ he thought, tensing up before relaxing again. _"This is just a dream. It can't hurt me."_

The Grunt continued banging on the door as if it smelled him, sensed his presence, before it swung open. The heaping body roared and stormed over to Felix and got ready to strike at the stilled form.

"AAAHH!" the human screamed as his shoulder was ripped to shreds, eyes wide open and sanity slowly draining. "SON OF A FUCK!" Hardly bracing himself for the next attack as he cradled his bloody, torn up shoulder in his hand, the Grunt slashed down again with its piercing metal spikes…

… But only got half way.

By now, Felix's sanity was extremely low, he could feel himself going insane. He needed some sanity potion and laudanum really badly, but his supplies were on the nightstand and he didn't have the sense to get any. He was too lost in his own world of pain before the Grunt's screams of torture were over and the skin and flesh of the servant fell to the floor, no longer mobile. A golden sword was wiped of rubicund blood as another life form approached the gamer, who was hardly conscious.

"Pewdie…" a heavy French accent called. "Pewdie…"

The last thing Felix registered was cold hands trying to slap him awake and that angry accent that he made himself.

* * *

_I don't know why there aren't any tabs on the last part but whatever._

_You would not believe how much research went into making this series. I had to look up every little detail to make things happen. Lovely things._

_Like did you know that laudanum is a drink mixed with cocaine so it makes you high and therefore relieves pain?_

_Yeah, I know that shit._

_Review for next chapter._


	2. Encounter

_Okay, next chapter coming out a day after the last one. Simply because I wanted to. I honestly can't stop writing this. I just have so many things planned for it. *squeals with excitement*_

_I... had something important to say but I forgot. Let's see if I can remember it by the time you finish reading. *zooms away*_

* * *

"Dear god…" Felix said to himself, shaking slightly as he read yet another note. Many things had happened since he was saved by a mysterious stranger. He had woken up in his own bedroom before to the voice of Marzia, and pushed everything that happened at night as a painful, realistic dream. That was until he found, under his shirt he was wearing the other day, golden gauze covering his wound. His arm still hurt like a bitch, and he couldn't move it very well. Though, Felix convinced Marzia that he had banged it in his sleep and slept in an awkward way, there was no denying that blood had seeped through the gold threads.

_"_That was more than a dream_," Felix thought. "_Much more. What exactly is happening_?"_

_"Felix," Marzia said, laying down a glass of milk for his breakfast. "You look worried. Did you have a nightmare?"_

_He looked up at his girlfriend with sunken eyes blackened with bags. "Yeah. It was scary."_

_Marzia smiled sweetly and kissed Felix on the forehead, brushing back his bangs. "It's okay, Felix," she cheered. "Stephano will always protect you in your dreams."_

Right now, Felix was almost sure of that. It would explain the golden gauze that he needed to keep hidden. After a full day of playing games that slowly ate at his muscle mass, he finally laid down to rest, making sure that his last video uploaded was not so late at night so he could actually rest in bed.

And all the good it did. After everything he had done to stay away from that Hell, he still found himself within Brennenburg's dark halls.

As of current, he found himself staring at the note he found in the room where he woke up, which was coincidentally the room he also fell asleep in. Pale, crumbling parchment was housing many… odd doodles and terrible handwriting. What was readable was only small snippets, like "bedroom" "pain" and "come" all of which Felix wanted to avoid.

"Dear god…" he said to himself again, trying to make more sense of the note he didn't want anything to do with. As soon as he made out the sentence "Meet me in the bedroom; if you feel any pain, it's completely natural," he threw the note to the ground in a rage. "_Who is this person and why do they want my ass?"_

There was a loud rattle of glasses and bottles that caught Felix's attention, stopping his heart and almost making him scream. "Fuck!" he exclaimed, covering his mouth and moving away from the loud bottles. It took him a long moment of stillness and deafening silence that behind the bottles was a small hole in the wall, much like a peep hole. "Someone is spying on me!" he whined to himself, approaching the hole and putting his curious eyes toward it. "Hellooooo~?"

As his good shoulder was propped up against the coarse brick wall, he could almost feel thumping vibrations as if something was continuously being knocked against the wall, though he could not see what it was because the peep hole was so small, it limited his sight.

"Who's there?" Felix asked nobody in particular, suddenly wishing he didn't. He should have just walked away while he could instead of confronting something potentially dangerous. But, of course, curiosity always got the best of him.

As soon as he knocked lightly on the bricks, the thumping stopped and everything froze. Felix looked around a bit more, but nothing was moving and nothing was jumping out at him. He waited a moment. Something in his gut was telling him that all wasn't as bad as it seemed. _"Probably a glitch," _he thought. _"Wait, this is a dream. Anything can happen."_

Giving the wall one last look, he decided to leave it be and left the room, swinging his lantern side to side.

* * *

Pressed up against the cold bricks, two others sat practically on each other, hands over their mouths to keep their breaths from being heard. As soon as the door had swung shut with an eerie creak, the elder of the two shoved his companion roughly to the side.

"That is the last time you touch my ass without getting your hands chopped off!" he growled, not even bothering to help the younger up. They were supposed to be spying on Felix in case anything bad happened to the poor gamer, but the purple-haired youth would not see to it.

Rubbing his thin, bruised ears that sat atop his head, the pervert moaned, "But you have a nice ass! Just like mine! You know, many people died for this ass."

The more mature one sighed, ignoring all attempts the other made to get laid. "We have to follow Pewdie," he said, fixing his headdress. "If only Mr. Chair was here, it would get me out of this hell with you." He lead the way through the thin halls, his friend following closely behind.

"Don't be like that, Stephano. At least he read my letter to him."

"Your letter sucks, Mr. Piggeh, just like you."

"Passionately, might I add."

* * *

Felix was lost. He knew he was lost, and he knew that he was probably far away from his destination with no hope of getting there alone. "Fuck, where is the center of Brennenburg Castle?" he asked himself, passing a set of barrels in the shadows. "The first letter said to go there, right? Because… something would happen…"

Sighing at his own infidelity, the poor gamer continued on toward a certain direction down the corridor, opening each door with decreasing caution.  
_"I don't understand,"_ Felix thought, grabbing another laudanum. _"Where are the jumpscares? The poofers? The bros? I can't find anything that used to make Amnesia, Amnesia."_

He thought to himself for a moment, stopping where he stood.

_"I don't know which is worse. Something that scares you and gives you a thrill, a change of heartbeat, and makes you cry… Or nothing at all. Just the same exact expectations in every single room."_

Felix dropped onto a mattress. Not even a chair was in sight so he could talk to himself in Mr. Chair's voice. He buried his face in his palms. "… I don't want this anymore…" he said. "I want to go home. To get out of this suspense. To just do something."

Wish granted.

Small whispers were coming from outside the room, and Felix knew he wasn't imagining them when they were followed by footsteps. Unable to make out words but able to figure out that these things were not Grunts or Brutes, Felix crouched and tip toed over to the door.

He had his hand on the door, ready to open it, until the door was forced open on the other side and knocked him over onto his bad shoulder eliciting a small groan from him, but not before shattering his lantern to bits under him and spilling oil everywhere. The sound of glass crunching into a million pieces must have alerted a small party, as the sources of the loud footsteps piled into the room, only highlighted by the light from the hallway in a way that only showed their dark and stormy shadows.

"… Pewdie…"

The three voices were completely unfamiliar.

"Pewdie."

Two large forms and one half the height of the others were blocking the way to the corridor, so it was too late for Felix to realize that he was far beyond trapped and outnumbered. There was one deep throaty growl coming from one of them, he didn't know which. And he was far too petrified to fully comprehend when one of the taller ones launched themselves at him, holding two short swords in its gloved hands.

The last thing Felix remembered from that room was piercing amber eyes, filled with vengeance and scorn.

* * *

The first few seconds of waking up were hazy and dark, unknown to the human man. He figured that he had just been sitting on the twin sized bed for hours, just staring at the calming blue walls covered in bookshelves and mementos that meant nothing to him. When he finally did come to, his arms and legs felt groggy and heavily weighed and his head felt equally so. It was hard to focus on anything, much less move without feeling like he was going to soil the bed sheets under him. So, he relaxed again into the pillows, not nearly able to get up yet.

This didn't deter him from looking all over the room. The bedroom looked overall homely. Green plants were placed in certain places to maintain a certain balance in the feng shui and a desk to the side held many open books and notebooks with scrawl on them. On the nightstand lay a lone picture frame and oil lamp. The whole place looked innocent and clean, unlike his own bedroom.

His own bedroom…

_"I need to go home,"_ Felix thought again. _"This isn't my house. This isn't where I live. Where the hell am I?"_

With very slow movement and a heavy hand, he reached for the picture frame, plopping his hand on it and turning the entire thing toward him without pushing it over the edge, which was a shock considering he was as clumsy as a three legged horse. In the wooden frame that now shown wear and tear as if being in a junk pile for so long before being cleaned and displayed was a small, crude drawing of four people (he guessed), each represented by a different color. The color blue was one of the tallest and had a small smile drawn in the general face area. Red was also equally as tall but had a saddened… or angered expression. The color green had a smile and was of middle height. Finally, the shortest was yellow and housed the largest smile of them all. All four figures were holding hands innocently as if they hadn't a worry in the world. The whole picture reeked of nostalgia.

When he was done inspecting the picture that seemed to be drawn by a seven year old, the door suddenly opened and Felix flung back into the sheets, not expecting any company, no matter how quiet.

"Ah, so you're awake."

The gamer peeked slowly out of the comforter, all of a sudden feeling the weight in his limbs lift. Who he saw was a young man dressed in a tan dress shirt covered in an ugly forest green sweater vest that tucked into his grey-brown trousers. Atop mousey brown hair lay a beret that matched the sweater vest, equally as evergreen as his bright, lively eyes hidden by rimless glasses. When the young man who did not possibly look older than 17 smiled, the room felt light and calming, soothing Felix's mind of everything. This boy seemed to have an aura that could tame any beast.

He sat on the bed next to the lost human. "How are you? Do you still hurt, Pewdie?"

Felix finally found his voice. "E-err... Yeah. I'm doing fine." The other smiled kindly and placed a hand on the covers, peeling them away to reveal  
Felix's bandaged torso.

"When I found you in a room far away from here with the others," he said, "we were pretty scared. Good thing I patched you up real well. Though I wonder what caused such deep slash marks on your stomach. It couldn't possibly be a Brute because they have no grace at all."

Felix stared at the man. "I was… hurt?"

He nodded in response. "Yes. By a bone sword, I believe. I've treated many bone sword related injuries in the past before, so you don't need to worry."

The gamer then realized how much green the boy was wearing, and looked over to the framed drawing. "Who is…?"

The other looked at the frame and smiled sadly, bringing a whole new feel to the room. "That's… that's my family," he said wistfully, picking it up. "Before we split up. I haven't seen any of my brothers in ages, so I keep this drawing from my baby brother so I always remember them. It always makes me smile how grumpy Red always acted in front of Bluey and Mayonnaise decided to draw that instead of something nice."

Felix blinked at the sad boy. "Mayonnaise…? You mean… the small table?"

The boy brightened up and looked at the gamer. "Yeah! You remember him?"

He nodded. "But… how can he be your little brother?"

The green boy looked confused down at him. "What do you mean?" he asked. "This is what you made us."

Felix was dreadfully confused at this. "Made you…?" he asked. "Just… Who the hell are you?"

The boy smiled brightly and stood at attention. "My name is Mr. Chair. You can call me Chair for short."

* * *

_Oh yeah, now I remember. There are many, many pairings for this series, as said in the last chapter. However, most of them will only appear once or twice throughout the entire thing, or only implied._

However, there will be three pairings that are completely main and will be reoccurring. These are: PewDiePie x Stephano, Mr. Piggeh x Mr. Chair, and Sammy Sue x Red. Also, there will be major "scenes" between Torchy x Mr. Chair, PewDiePie x Stephano, Mr. Piggeh x Mr. Chair, PewDiePie x Marzia.

Nobody can hate on PewDiePie x Marzia because they are going out in real life so be quiet.

Also, through many hours of research, I had found that Bluey, Red, Mr. Chair, and Mayonnaise are related and are all boys. Their relationship, whether it is cousins or brothers, still baffles me, but I'm going with brothers because that would be so much cuter than cousins.

I made Bluey and Red older than Mr. Chair because they came before him and even though Mayo is technically older, Mayo is very small so I'm going to say that he is the baby brother with the bragging rights of being caught by Pewdie before his older brother.

Random fact of the upload: Large lantern oil cans are considered easter eggs in Amnesia: The Dark Decent because it only appears once in a hiding spot on top of a shelf.


	3. Fight

_Currently my longest chapter with no breaks inbetween. :D_

_I hope you guys enjoy, especially everyone who left me sexy comments. I love sexy comments._

_Also, I'm deciding to... well... I'll tell you at the end, 'kay?_

It had taken him a while to get dressed, but when he did, Felix decided he should wear dress shirts more often. The light blue button-up looked great and covered his bandages completely, so he didn't need to walk around half naked all the time in front of whatever residence that resided within. Though he would admit, walking around the house with no shirt would normally be sexy, completely fitting for him, now just wasn't the time; especially with Mr. Chair watching his every move from the bed.

His friend sat at attention with crossed legs, relaying everything worth of knowledge back to Felix. "Recently, all of us had woken up to become more or less humans. We don't know why exactly, but we have a pretty good hunch at the cause. And since we saw a dramatic decrease in the barrel population, we expect that not only do they also change into humans but they have honed their powers so that they can change back to being a barrel at any time."

Felix finished buttoning his shirt, checking himself out in the mirror next to Mr. Chair's bed. "I don't see the reason as to why I'm here," he said simply, sighing as he rested his hands at his sides. "Why do you want me here?"

The brunette smiled slightly. "Well, the reason we have changed, we guessed is because to a magic surge throughout the game. Thus, we have been filled with magic and have been able to take on the personas you gave us." He paused, thinking his words over. "… But when we enter certain rooms, some of them have a barrier on them that does not allow magic, so the only way we can keep in this form is when we are kept in conditions with moderate magic supply. If the magic supply drops, we get turned back into our original forms."

The older man nodded, leaning up against the door and leering down at his companion. "So… that still doesn't explain why I'm here."  
"It's because you're magic proof."

Felix didn't know where to go from there. He didn't understand the concept of magic, nor would he like to know. But if he was magic proof, then maybe he could help them in certain areas. "So you need me to help when you go to a place with no magic?" he asked.  
Mr. Chair nodded happily. "Yeah, but it's also because we wanted to see you."

The gamer cocked his head in confusion. "Why would you want to see me? I see you every day."

"It's because we never get to speak with you personally. Everyone will be so excited to thank you for everything you've done." The younger male got up and sauntered over to the door, guiding Felix through the bright halls.

_"This place is huge!" _Felix thought, gaping at everything. There were at least 8 more rooms similar to the one he just came from and stairs at each end that lead to the lower floor. The walls were painted beige and were heavily lighted by candle chandeliers and torches lining each side. It looked like a whole mansion with its intricate doors and décor, giving the entire place a heartwarming feeling, despite taking place in the center of Brennenburg Castle. _"All of this fits into one castle? This looks like its own mansion!"_

Mr. Chair had to beckon him toward the mesh spiral staircase because he was so lost in the moment of taking everything in. When he had enough of checking things out, he ran after his friend and carefully padded down the metal stairs, soon finding himself looking at a corner kitchen to his left and a long expanse of a single brown-tinted room with a stone fireplace and cozy looking couches and recliners to his right. It looked like electricity-less Eden. If only Felix could bring his games and computer here. It was much better than his own house, and he would never leave.

His friend smiled at him. "Do you like what you see?" he asked, turning to the kitchen outlined by a small island with bar chairs to sift through the ice box for food.

Felix slowly nodded. "I never knew this place existed." His awe was still apparent in his voice, even when he looked up to the ceiling. Despite its elegant and warm appearance when seen at eye level, the ceiling was wrong, if it could be called a ceiling. Instead of white sheetrock, long metal pipes used for plumbing were rung like a grid across the entire underbelly of the second floor. They stood out so much that Felix couldn't stop watching the rusty metal.

Mr. Chair chuckled and prepared a meal with plenty of cocoanut and milk. "It's an Easter egg that Martin and Agrippa found a couple days after we became human," he said. "Ever since then, we made this place our home." He sat the plate of natural food on the island and motioned for the enticed gamer to sit at one of the bar stools.

Felix obeyed and stared at the food. _"How long has it been since I last ate anything?"_ He started to dig in and almost retched._"This house might be amazing,"_ he thought. _"But the food tastes terrible!"_

Still, Mr. Chair beamed down at him, something Felix couldn't show how disgusted he was. "How is it?" he asked.

He lied through his teeth. "Great…" _"Two more bites and I'll be done."_

Poor Felix was too engrossed with trying to stomach his meal when the main entrance creaked open and two conflicting voices rang through the large mansion within a mansion.

"It's all your fault!" one French voice accused loudly, storming over to the kitchen portion.

"It is not!" a plainer, husky voice defended on equal volume. "Do you really think that a Grunt would be intrigued by a single gunshot?"

"Yes!"

"I think not, my good sir!"

Those two continued to quarrel all the way to the side of Felix. Even then, the disgusted male hardly paid attention to their loud voices.

"If you hadn't shot at him in the first place, we wouldn't be fucking running away like pussies!"

"I told you before, _my finger slipped on the trigger!_ I was only trying to have your back, Stephano!"

"Excuses…" Stephano shook his head in dismay. "For shame, you disgrace."

Mr. Piggeh frowned and balled his fists. "I am not a disgrace! Yeesh, you and your high fucking standards."

Mr. Chair cleared his throat sharply, trying to get the two's attention.

"Damn right! I had to slice that piece of shit so you and your weak ass could make a run for it." By this time, Stephano was thoroughly pissed, and was very openly showing it.

The younger of the two looked offended. "I attempted to help but you were all like…" He took a deep breath. What came out was the worst French accent impersonation ever recorded. "'Get out of here, Mr. Piggeh! You would only cause more trouble!'"

The golden man stared down at him. "… You fucking bitch…" he mumbled before his comrade launched himself upon him, tackling him to the ground and hitting his head against Felix's bar stool.

Clinging on for dear life, Felix now noticed his friends throwing random punches until having each other in a choke hold. "Err… guys?"

"You think you're so mighty now," he heard Mr. Piggeh say, pulling at Stephano's turban. "Do you want me to rape you in your sleep? **_Do you?_**"

"Guys."

Stephano violently pushed the pig away. "Like hell I do!" he said sarcastically before engaging in another short battle.

Felix was too stupefied by the fight that he didn't notice Mr. Chair reaching into a cabinet and pulling out an iron crowbar and hitting it into the palm of one hand. He couldn't have come at a more perfect time, because when Piggeh gropes anyone's ass, especially Stephano's, shit goes down. Before the golden statue could kick the pig in the balls in compensation, Mr. Chair cracked the crowbar down on both their heads, causing each of them to reel back and hold their heads in pain.

"That's for not listening to me…" Mr. Chair said with a slight huff, watching each of them take a cozy seat on the hardwood floor. "… And for not greeting our new friend. Or should I say, old friend." He went back to his bubbly, smiling demeanor and gestured toward Felix, who in the process had pushed his dinner plate as far away as he could during all of the ruckus.

The silent man smiled politely and waved slightly at his friends on the floor. "Not exactly the sort of greeting I would want to see when I met you all," he said in light jest, hoping to lower the testosterone levels in the area. "Not that I knew I would be meeting you all in person any time soon."  
When their brains finally unscrambled by the violent jostle of Mr. Chair's swing, Stephano and Mr. Piggeh registered the fourth presence in the room. Quickly fixing themselves from more embarrassment than they had already gone through, they stood and smiled down at Felix, ready to present.

The younger, who looked approximately 18 or 19 with a deep purple hue of hair and red bruised pig ears sitting atop his head, had a plastered on smirk that leered into one's soul. Soulless gray eyes with blood splattered around his hidden left went with the dull caramel vest he wore, which made his plain black trousers look wild and untamed. This was Mr. Piggeh: wild and untamed.

The eldest of the group who was definitely in his early 20s wore a pure gold tunic that reached just above his knees tied with a thin belt. Under the tunic were equally hued trousers that reached his genie-tipped shoes. Atop his head, he wore a gold turban that hid his hair well. Blank coal eyes edged with the day's wear-and-tear trapped all those in its way as if the fires on those coals would combust. It was easy to see that Stephano had no patience whatsoever—raging fire heavily outmatched any sort of serine water present.

"'Allos, Pewdie," Stephano said amicably. "I am Stephano." Felix smiled at him. They had known each other for such a long time, it was odd for him to actually hear his friend's real voice instead of talking for him. It was like meeting a friend you knew all your life for the first time. Everything finally changes.

"Hey Pewdie," Piggeh practically moaned, licking his lips. "I'm so pumped to have you here." His voice was edgy and husky, reeking of both danger and lust. Felix made a mental note to stay away from him when he comes too close, otherwise his ass might be in complete danger. "Did you read my note?"

Yes. His ass was in danger.

Felix slowly nodded anyway. "Yes, I did," he said, slowly edging away from the man until his waist hit the island counter. "I didn't know you were… err… serious."

Mr. Piggeh shook his head with a smirk, his thin ears swaying slightly. "Nah. I mean, yeah, I'm sure we can do it. But, I already have a certain someone in mind," he purred, batting his eyelashes at Mr. Chair who had turned to wash the dishes. "I can show you how I penetrate though."

"Dear god no," Felix said instantly, shaking his head in fear. Even though Mr. Piggeh had a crush, that still didn't mean anyone was safe. To ignore the slurping sounds of the pig's tongue licking at the drool on his lips, the gamer changed the subject. "So it's all of you guys in this one place? It seems kind of sparse for only three guys."

Stephano shook his head, looking up toward the ceiling. "No. Martin, Torchy, and Agrippa also live here, except you don't see a lot of Martin and Torchy. We sometimes don't see them for days until they decide to pop in and check up on us."

The faint sounds of metal bending slightly were not heard by Felix. "Really? Why?"

"They like their space. However, Agrippa enjoys showing us his love from time to time." The golden man pointed up toward the ceiling, but it was already too late.

Before he could move his neck, a grotesque, petrified face with dull eyes and gray scruff on his chin was an inch away from Felix's nose. The man that looked like death smelled wretched and was a complete eyesore. Agrippa yelled into his face so loud that his voice reverberated off the walls, **"TWIST MY NIPPLES, PEWDIE! TWIST 'EM!" **

The sudden outburst made Felix let out a high pitched scream and fell back, hitting the floor painfully with a loud bang. Agrippa climbed down from the metal plumbing pipes much like a primate, first his hand was on the floor, then one leg, then the other leg and arm. He was so tall and lanky that his limbs reached from floor to ceiling and then some, so he needed to crouch to stay upright on the floor. He leered over Felix, his stretched skin wrinkly with age. He was only wearing a small piece of cloth that covered his private regions, much to the gamer's relief, which made him seem all the more monkeyesque.

"What the fuck, man?" Felix sobbed, grabbing Stephano's hand to get up. "What the fuck?"

Agrippa chuckled, resting his knuckles on the ground. "I thought I would give you the bro army initiation," he said with a small smile which looked horrid on his face.

Everyone else shook their heads in disapproval. "Not cool, bro," Mr. Piggeh said. "He should have screamed much louder. _I can make him scream much louder._ Just… not in that way." Stephano elbowed him in the ribs.

Mr. Chair blinked in confusion, leaning over the island. "What other way is there? I hope you're not talking about torture."

The perverted swine smirked evilly. "Oh it's a kind of torture, alright." He discreetly licked his lips again, plotting everyone's demise.

Stephano looked everyone over before putting on his authoritative voice. "Now that Pewdie has met everyone, I suggest showing him to Martin and Torchy while discussing more about what we intend to do." He looked at Felix. "You must have a lot of questions, oui?"

He slowly nodded.

Mr. Chair came from behind the island and started to lead the way to a far off room on the other side of the living space. "Martin it is!" he cheered as everyone followed. Felix was more than ready to have his questions asked.

_"But would Martin really be able to answer them?"_

Okay, I'm going to do three things: summarize the chapter, accept upload questions, and give you guys the random fact of the upload.

I am starting to accept upload questions now, since this story is becoming popular quite fast. Ask me anything and I'll choose a question at random. The answer will be at the end of each chapter.

Random fact of the upload: Grunts can speak English. When they speak, however, since their jaw is all flabby and unusable, it's broken and garbled. If you listen carefully, you can actually hear him try to say things like "I see you" or "I found you." Also, if you get close without him noticing, you can hear him crying to himself sometimes. DON'T HATE THE GRUNTS. THEY JUST WANT TO BE LIKE YOU.


	4. Class

_Hey, so sorry it took a long time. This is about 4,000 words, so that had better make up for anything that I did._

_I had also better get some good friggin reviews from you people. =_=_

_ONWARD!_

...

As if the grandeur of the house wasn't enough to overwhelm Felix, he was bombarded with a new aspect as soon as he set foot into the massive library. Floor to ceiling shelves of original, leather bounded books with gold script and spine completely surrounded the area in the middle where a single, round table housed a map that was too big, it fell off its edges. Great, embossed chairs stained with looks of antiquity were dotted around the library. It was the absolute perfect place for quietude.

The gamer was too focused on eating as much of the eye candy as he could to notice the man scrutinizing the map in the center of everything. He had charcoal colored hair and wore a dark gray tailcoat that was open to show off his deep black vest. He was very well dressed for not seeing people on a regular basis. As the rest of them stopped to greet the man, Felix almost bumped them over to play a game of human dominos.

"'Allos, Martin," Stephano said. Martin's only response was a nod of the head. "… We have brought Pewdie."

With emerald eyes filled with ennui, he turned to them for the first time in days. "Ah, yes. Felix Kjellburg. Welcome." Martin rolled his eyes and turned back to his work, never being one to talk much.

Stephano cleared his throat and stepped closer, apparently bursting the imaginary bubble around Martin that stood a full arm's width in diameter. "Because you are the record keeping Intellect of the group, perhaps you could brief Pewdie on everything."

Martin scoffed, moving to the other side of the room toward the fat bookcase pushed against the wall. "Well, you're going to need to be more specific than that," he said, scanning the titles for answers to any sort of question. Ah, books were amazing.

Felix thought for a moment before realizing he actually needed to ask a question. "Umm… well you can start with 'What is all of this?'"

Martin rolled his eyes. "This is a library. Filled with books."

Everyone else in the room facepalmed.

"Well, I don't know how to start!" he said, looking bashful. "There are so many things I could ask."

Stephano decided to give Felix a little push in the right direction. "Let's first explain the basics," he said with a slight smile. "You don't even know who we are."

Felix blinked at the lot. "But… I thought…"

Martin sighed. "It seems you are as lost as you are in every single Slenderman mod," he murmured, leaning his back on the spines of books. "Of course there's more to us than what meets the eye." He then turned his back to them once more, getting a stepladder from the front of the room and using it to get a high up book for Felix. "Here's a book I found on the classes and elements of each."

The gamer attempted to catch the book, but it fell to the ground.

"Be careful!"

"Sorry…" He picked the leather bound book that looked fairly new and opened to the first page. Immediately he closed it. "What is this? I can't read something like this. Just…" he sighed. "Explain this to me." He held up the book to Martin to put it back into place.

Instead, the elder man (who didn't really look that old, maybe in his early 30s) held it to his chest as he stepped down and relaxed. "I suppose I could try to dumb things down to your level," he said.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Anyway," Martin waved off. "For starters, there are seven classes that have forced themselves upon everyone when they have turned human, including every one of us. That means you, Felix." He gave a foreboding look to the gamer before looking away to think. "Although, you would be considered to be in the class of Intellect, or humans. We don't have any sort of special abilities but our minds. Advanced reason and problem solving skills is what makes us vital to the team. I don't know where the magic went wrong with you, but you don't fit into any other class."

Felix thought it over. "… Okay, I'm still just a human. Good. Now what about the others?" He gestured to Stephano, Mr. Chair, and Mr. Piggeh, who were all chatting lightly with one another and drawing pictures in the gray carpet with the tips of their shoes.

Martin hardly hesitated. "The other six classes, Metal, Fire, Earth, Wood, Air, and Water, all correspond with what we are and our personality. Take Stephano for example. He is a Fire, because he is a swordsman."

Felix scratched his neck. "How do you assume that? Besides being a swordsman, that is obvious."

"Fire corresponds with swordsmen because they always have the energy to fight long and tedious battles with swords they can only use with the power of their souls to generate how much damage it can do, and never give up. They are stubborn and leader-like by nature. They dislike being alone and often belittle others to make them feel superior. They also secretly lust over another, but will never tell who they really like. They get happy when they are surrounded by friends and are not easily distracted. They will also sacrifice themselves for their lovers without question, no matter what they need to do."

Felix listened intently to the description, which was rare for him. _"Secretly lust?"_ "Alright, I admit that that sounds a lot like Stephano," he said. "What about the others?"

Martin thought. "Mr. Piggeh is in the Metal class, or is a gunner. People in the Metal class are hardy and unbendable, like their pistols in which they are able to send parts of their soul through, like bullets. They are fast healers though, and have more than enough spirit to share. Even though they can't take anything seriously, they only have one goal in life, whatever it is. They often hide under a façade, which is completely the opposite of what they really feel. This most likely leads them to be promiscuous and seemingly unfaithful, even though when it comes down to it, they make great friends and a great pick-me-up too.

Mr. Chair is in the Earth class, or is an alchemist. Alchemists are similar to mages, which I'll get to later. They often have a large range of personalities, but are always weak muscled and loyal to the very end. They live for justice, and nothing will stop them from saving a comrade. They don't lust after anyone, as they have intelligence only bested by an Intellect, like me. They are quick on their feet and hands, always ready to transmute something into another of equal value, like air into fire or lightning or grass into bread. I don't recommend the bread though, it tastes horrible."

Felix paused, trying to take in so much information. "… Mr. Piggeh, gunner… Mr. Chair, alchemist. Got it."

Martin sighed. "There's more. The other three classes. I've already told you about Fire, Earth, Metal, and Intellect…"

He was starting to lose Felix.

"… Wood is the element of the barrels. They are rambunctious and hasty, revolting and unkind. They have terrible temper that leads them to do terrible things…"

Felix turned around and went to leave. Martin didn't notice, he was in his own world.

"… Mages have the element of Air. This comes from the way they can make things out of thin air. Mages are often bratty and self-righteous, only thinking about themselves and no others. They also like big spaces for themselves…"

The door slammed shut as each of them except for Martin left.

"… Water is the element for the Grunts, Brutes, and Kaernks. As of yet, Brutes are the worst monster you will encounter. However, they are very few. Therefore, Kaernks take place as the biggest threat, as half of the lower part of Brennenburg Castle is filled with water. Also, all of them are becoming much more intelligent than their usual selves due to the magic. They still aren't a match for us because you have me, but you'll see that you can be found out much more easily than before. Any questions?"

He finally looked around the library. Seeing the others completely ditched him in the middle of his speech, he sighed. "Damn. Nobody listens to me," he groaned, getting back to his work on the map. It was long and tedious, trying to find the areas that had no magic without actually going there, but he was making progress. As long as Torchy could keep feeding him the information…

"Well, that was a bummer," Mr. Piggeh sighed as they all walked back into the living area. "The man doesn't know how to seduce like I do," He folded his hands behind his neck, zen as always and let himself fall to the couch.

"Yeah," Stephano rolled his eyes at his partner. "He doesn't know how to meet your level of crazy, too."

"Hey, I take that as a compliment."

As the two dysfunctional friends bickered yet again and the poor, kind Mr. Chair tries his best to keep it clean, Felix laid back on the wall next to a small table with a pure white pot on it. _"After everything, Martin still didn't answer my questions…"_

"G-guys, please," Mr. Chair begged. "Please stop."

"Not until Goldilocks here takes back what he said!" Mr. Piggeh stated, tackling the raging Stephano back.  
Felix Could only raise an eyebrow at them. "They don't get along well, do they?" he asked Mr. Chair, who had just decided to give up and let them battle out their problems.

"They don't. I think it's because Stephano is afraid of being seen as weak, and with Piggeh's flirting, it makes him look submissive if he gives in." Mr. Chair fixed his glasses, the light catching them. "I don't care though. No matter what, we're still friends. Piggeh is just a pervert, is all, and Stephano needs to learn to live with that."

Felix stared at the fighting two until they have been reduced to lightly wrestling each other on the floor. "… I'm sorry," he said. Watching the two beat each other up again was bringing back memories about whenever he would make Stephano and Mr. Piggeh would meet, no matter how rare.

_"Come on, you can't say you're not interested," Mr. Piggeh said, eyeballing the small golden statue that fit in the player's palm. He was so much bigger than the older persona, as he was a fully grown adult swine; a half eaten one, at that._

_The small statue that wasn't nearly as tall as a baseball stared back in horror. "Get away from me, you crazy!" Stephano shook. If he was mobile, then he would run, or at least hit the porker on the head. Or maybe make a few more gashes in the thick pig flesh with his tiny golden sword._

_Mr. Piggeh chuckled. "You don't like my butt?" he asked, to Stephano's horror. "You know, there are a lot of people who died for this butt…"_

Mr. Chair shook his head at his master. "It's not your fault, no matter what they do," he said lightly. "You didn't know this would ever happen. We never knew this would happen."

The punches died down to caresses and when the two collected themselves, they shared a short laugh and helped each other up. This was what always happened. They were dysfunctional and prone to fights, but friends protected each other and cared for each other in the end.

Mr. Chair smiled in relief. "Now that you two have gotten your tension out, I think Pewdie is still kind of… um…"

"Horny?"

"Curious?"

Felix raised a brow at Mr. Piggeh. "Curious," he confirmed. "God, Piggeh. Why are you so—"

"Amazing? Sexy?"

Stephano elbowed him. "Annoying?"

Mr. Chair lost track of the conversation and started to walk toward the door to the basement. It was a crude metal door that was between two bookcases, so it didn't attract too much attention from the homey feel of everything. "Follow me, Pewdie," he said, and the others started to follow.

The loud banging of soft knocking echoed throughout the lower floor. "He always locks the door, that Torchy," Mr. Piggeh said from right behind Felix. "Probably knows what I'll do to him in the night."

Loud footsteps reverberated outwards before the basement door was unlocked three times and opened from the inside. The person who opened the door was rather small, looking only fifteen years old. He had flaming orange hair that nearly hid his golden eyes with a small cowlick to the side. Torchy wore a yellow dress shirt and a hot red vest over it. On his face, he wore a look of sweet innocence that brought a warm glow to them. "What is it?" he asked, voice boyish and unedged.

"Torchy," Stephano said. "Since you give the best advice that doesn't involve an entire history lesson from Martin, we're passing Pewdie on to you." Placing a hand on Felix's mid-back, he pushed him forward toward the darkness in the basement. The boy moved out of the way so the metal mesh stairs could accommodate both of them. "Good luck, and try not to confuse him too much."

Felix gripped the rail tightly so he didn't fall down on his face. "I'll take good care of him, Stephano," Torchy said in light spirits, taking his hand and pulling him down with him. The other three closed the door and returned to whatever they wanted to do.

The gamer followed the boy as he lit up the candles and chandeliers with a wave of his hand. "Wait…" he said. "How did you…?"

"I'm a Mage," Torchy said simply. "You would think I would be a swordsman like Stephano, but without the air, I wouldn't be able to burn." He let go of Felix's sleeve and sat on a wooden box in the middle of a storagelike area. The entire place was filled with trinkets and antiques that no longer had a purpose. Despite the dim candles that flickered every which way, the room was still rather dark. Half of the boxes were covered with cloth. The other half were opened or just waiting to be violated. "Have a seat."

Slowly and cautiously, Felix sat down on a box across from the boy. "Will you answer me without all the excess details?" he asked.

Torchy nodded with a slight smile, crossing his legs and placing his chin on two folded hands. "Ask away."

Felix thought for a long and hard moment. _"What would be good enough?"_ he thought. _"How should I start?"_ "Well, how about you tell me what's going on?" he asked.

Torchy sighed. "Only straight questions get straight answers, you know," he mused. "You have to be more specific."

"Well, how about 'why am I here?'"

The youth smirked in the dim ambiance. "You are here because we need you here. To help us defeat the new and improved barrels and monsters, like the Grunts and Kaernks."

"But I don't understand why you need me," Felix said, leaning forward with interest. "I can't do anything special."

"That's where you're wrong," Torchy chuckled triumphantly. "You have something that we don't. Or rather, you don't have something we have."

"What is it?"

"A second form." Torchy was speaking as if it was obvious. "I'm guessing Mr. Chair already told you that there are some areas where there is no magic and they must be kept in a stable condition, otherwise they transform back involuntarily?"

Felix thought back to that morning. "… Oh yeah, he did say something like that."

Torchy nodded in an understanding manner. "Anything else?"

"… How did I get here?"

"Mr. Chair's Philosopher's Stone." The redhead paused, seemingly not knowing exactly where to progress. "… A Philosopher's Stone is able to bring anything without any cost. Nothing goes in, anything you want comes out. You're lucky you came here in a full piece, because it was Mr. Chair's first time doing such a huge transmutation. The stone even broke after you arrived. It turned obsolete."

"How come you all couldn't just get me and bring me to this place?" Felix asked with increasing anger.

"It would have been overwhelming for you to suddenly be thrust into our lives of danger," Torchy said almost robotically, as if he was anticipating such a question. "And if you were awake when we found you, you would also draw a lot of attention to the more intelligent Grunts. They would have found you the instant you started to make conversation and ask questions. That would have made things so much more difficult for everyone if you suddenly didn't come back alive."

The adult gamer stared at his bro, then sighed. "I guess you're right."

"We did leave you notes you know."

"I know." He could never forget the letter Mr. Piggeh left for him.

Torchy got off of his box and started to walk toward the stairs, waving for his senior to follow. "Well, if you don't have any more questions, you should leave—"

"Wait," Felix got up from his box and stood a full foot above the other. He started to walk up the stairs, despite him wanting to talk more. "One last question. How did all of this get started?"

Torchy blinked at the man. He had promised not to lie to him, to answer him straight. But straight questions only get straight answers. "A seed," he simply said before forcefully pushing his master out of the basement and back into the living room, locking the door three times behind him. The sound of footfalls descending the staircase resounded before finally falling silent.

Mr. Chair looked up from his book, fixing his glasses that fell to the tip of his button nose. "Hello, Pewdie," he said happily, not moving from his seat next to Mr. Piggeh on the loveseat. "How did it go?"

Felix sat on the arm of the seat. "Not so well. Torchy didn't really answer my last question."

The brunette absentmindedly pet Mr. Piggeh's hair, who had evidently fallen asleep on his lap. _"Such soft hair for a pig…"_ "Oh? He didn't? That's strange. What did you ask?" He closed the book shut and set it on his lap, looking cheeky up at Felix.

"I asked him how all this got started," he answered. "Like, how everyone turned human and stuff."

Mr. Chair shrugged and relaxed into the cushions. "We don't even know, so I guess that's why he couldn't give you a straight answer. Because he didn't know."

Felix shrugged and looked over to Stephano, who also decided to doze off on a recliner some distance away. "… Ah, fuck me," he said to himself. "I have another question I didn't get to ask him."

His friend cocked his head. "What is it?"

"Well, you see," the human started, waving his hands in front of him, trying to convey his thoughts. "Right before I remember waking up and talking to you for the first time in person, there was this group of things that attacked me. They weren't monsters, that's for sure. The one who attacked me had these… angry amber eyes… But that's all I remember about them."

Mr. Chair stared at him, thinking. "Amber… eyes…?" he asked. Felix nodded. "And… a bone sword wound…" He gasped to himself in great realization and got up in a sudden movement that instantly woke up the snoozing pig. "Stephano, wake up!"

The golden man snorted and slowly looked toward his comrade with dull coals. "What is it?" he murmured, stretching his arms in front of him.

"A bone sword and amber eyes!" Mr. Chair said excitedly. "Put these two things together, and what do we have?"

"A fire?" Mr. Piggeh asked, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. "An oracle fire?"

"No," the alchemist giggled. "Remember? He was your second worst enemy, Stephano."

Said statue sat up and rubbed his face awake. "Second…?" he thought. His eyes opened wide as he remembered all those features: midnight blue hair mostly hidden by a skull lined with jagged teeth, garments that resembled perfectly a skeleton in the dark, and those same amber eyes that always directed every ounce of hate and scorn at him. "Oh, no," he moaned. "Not him again! Anything but him!"

"But, it's not just him," Mr. Chair elaborated with growing excitement. "Pewdie said a group! A group! And they weren't monsters! This is an amazing discovery, Pewdie!"

Felix rubbed the back of his neck with an awkward look on his face. _"What the hell is he even talking about?"_

Mr. Chair continued his dance around the room, going from person to person, trying to make them feel as enthusiastic as he felt. "I can't believe it," he laughed. "I might actually be reunited with my brother!"

"Now, hold on a second," Stephano said, standing up to meet the younger's height. "What makes you think that Mayonnaise is traveling with them? He could be missing, or worse, dead. Now, I'm sorry I put those images in your mind, but we need to think reasonably here."

Mr. Chair paused, biting his lip. "B-but… I think it's worth it," he said defiantly. "Even if we have to house your rival, even if we need to put up with Jennifer again, even if we meet Red or Sammy Sue, or even your twin brother, Mayonnaise is still a child… should still be a child… and I don't want him to grow up without a good influence. I don't want him to become like Red!" He glared into Stephano's unchanging eyes, keeping his point.

The elder sighed deeply. "You're asking for too much," he said. "We cannot deal with them, do you hear me?"

The alchemist looked up, tears forming behind his glasses. "B-but why? I just want to protect my baby brother…"

Stephano looked sadly into his emerald eyes. "I'm sorry," he whispered, placing both hands on Mr. Chair's shoulders. "But some of us just don't share your opinion."

"Wait a minute," Mr. Piggeh said, waving his hands and getting up to meet his companions. "Personally, I couldn't care whether we live with Mayo or not. It doesn't make a difference to me." He paused, bouncing his pointer finger at them. "… But, I can tell you now that when Mr. Chair is unhappy, our performance suffers greatly. Plus, it just decreases my chances of getting laid _that_ much."

Stephano glared at the filthy swine. "What are you aiming at, here?"

"I'm just saying…" Mr. Piggeh cooed. "… That you just don't want to be messed with. You don't want to be in the presence with one of the people on your 'To Die' list."

The gold man knitted his eyebrows at the man. "Are you calling me a coward?"

"That's exactly what I'm calling y—"

"Guys," Felix intervened, not letting another battle for dominance break out between the two. He had been watching enough. "I say we go through with it. I mean, what do we have to lose?" He then racked his brain for a better excuse. "And it… let's me see… better… how you three fight… and work… and stuff… on the battlefield."

Stephano's eye twitched. He loved the man, yes. But he too often got on his nerves when he was not listening to him. "Alright, we'll have a vote. All those in favor?"

Mr. Chair, Mr. Piggeh, and Felix raised their hands.

The leader sighed unhappily, crossing his arms. _"Goddamn, I don't want to deal with Skully right now or ever." _Trying not to let his stubbornness take control of him, he bit his lip in anger. "Fine! We'll search for the group after lunch." He couldn't believe he caved in, but he just couldn't say no to Felix's beautiful blue eyes.

_"Just what are we getting into?"_

Review for faster, longer updates.

Random fact of the upload: Mayo was born in House of Creep. Mayo was originally supposed to be an abnormally small table (like one for a dollhouse) but Pewdie still referred to Mayo even in his bigger form.


	5. Occult

_Stephano: 'Allos, Rosie. So I hear that you are starting to publish this on a weekly basis._

_Me: Uh-huh. I'm going to try._

_Mr. Chair: I'm proud! Usually writers only update with a set number of comments._

_Me: Yeah, I was going to do that. But then I thought "I put so much work planning this shit out, and if people don't comment, which is a very SIMPLE thing to do, then it's going to die." And you guys are worth it. 3_

_Piggeh: Aww, that's so sweet. Gimme a kiss!_

_Me: NO! You're going to need to save those sweet lips for Mr. Chair later._

_Mr. Chair: ... Whut?_

_Me: ENJOY~~~~!_

"Go on, get ready."

As of yet, Mr. Chair was pushing Felix back into his room, shooing him away from the rest. He needed more movable clothes, and according to his bro, they were hidden in his closet. But, even though Felix would admit that the linen shirt wasn't pliable in the slightest, he still didn't want to change. He was either convinced he liked his shirt more than any other, or he was just plain old too lazy to change.

Mr. Chair huffed at Felix's doorframe, trapping him in. "Now I don't want to see you in the same clothes. In tight spaces, how easily you move in your clothes can mean the difference between life and death. And we would prefer you alive, Pewdie."

He then shut the door. Felix didn't hear footsteps going away.  
The gamer sighed and decided to rummage through his closet at the corner of the room, figuring that there were no poofers or teleporting naked guys in there. Obviously, they wouldn't be in such a heavily guarded place.

Inside, deep in the corner, Felix found an oddly hidden bunch of clothes. He carefully reached for them as if they would snap at him and opened them, laying them out on the bed. As a man who worked in the house, he had little regard for clothes. All his bros just saw his top half, so it's not like they could tell the difference between him wearing pants and staying in his boxers. None of that mattered, except when he found his new uniform.

Felix never had a taste for electric colors, but the lines of vibrant green that striped the black trousers were more so annoying. It was like they were visible even in pitch black. There were many deep pockets, which were a plus, Felix guessed. The shirt was long, supposed to be tucked in. Rings of dominant black and lesser white wound in a horizontal pattern around his abdomen. To top it off, he got new black sneakers that were comfortable for long distance travel.

He finished changing and looked into his mirror. "I look so gay," he said without emotion before heading into the hall. Nobody seemed to be out. _"I guess even they need to get ready…"_ Felix thought. Thinking Mr. Chair would be done, he knocked on his door. "Mr. Chair, are you ready?"

There was no answer.

"Mr. Chair?" Felix called, opening the door slowly and looking inside. Upon the sight of no one, he took in the numerous, shaggy bookshelves lined up against the pale blue walls and the desk pushed over to the other end of the room, piled and covered with books and notebooks that covered the entire surface and then some. Nothing stood out more, however, than the large transmutation circle that spanned the entire gray carpet. _"Whoa,"_ Felix thought._"Alchemists and their shit."_

His body did 360s as he looked around at everything, memorizing each and every piece of furniture and every single nook and cranny in the scratched up shelves. After what seemed like hours of looking around, Felix's child-like eyes took in the huge book that spanned the vast majority of the desk surface. He saw pictures of bodies and more arrays for different rituals. He didn't even notice the fact he was hovering over the text, skimming over the pages in case Mr. Chair was hiding some sort of pornography.

**Rituals of the Occult**

**When alchemists, mages, and philosophers called upon a demon or god to help with anything, they would need a fresh blood sacrifice to lure the deity to them. By drawing the array with the sacrifice's blood shown at the bottom of the page, they are asking for the divine being to come to them. These circles are often found in crypts, Satanist churches, and old relics. The array must be in fresh blood or it is believed that the entity will—**

"_STOP THAT!_" a voice screamed from the doorframe. Instantly, Felix backtracked and fell to the floor, crippled in fear. Mr. Chair stormed over to his desk and slammed the book shut, glaring flaming daggers at his master. "Why did you have to read that?! Just forget about it, forget it right now!"

_"Whoa,"_ Felix thought. _"Since when did Mr. Chair have such a loud voice? Oh god, he's so angry." _"Calm the fuck down, Mr. Chair!"

When he didn't move from his place on the floor, the pissed off alchemist gritted his teeth and snatched the gamer's arm, dragging him to the door with more strength than his build implied. "I won't let anyone see this. Nobody will know about this. You had better not tell _anyone,_ Pewdie!"

"Calm down!" Felix commanded from the floor, fixing his hair. "Jävla, no need to yell."

Mr. Chair gritted his teeth before slamming the door shut, locking his friend out. While Felix sat there in momentary shock, Stephano was looking for him. "Where are you, you little shit?" the golden man called as he walked up the stairs. The moment he laid eyes on his bro on the floor, he knitted his brows. "What the fuck are you doing?"

_"You had better not tell _anyone_, Pewdie!"_

"Err…" Felix stammered, quickly standing. "I… tripped."

"I'll say," Stephano answered, approaching him with a look of concern. "You look like you've seen a teleporting naked guy."

Felix sighed. "You would be surprised." _"I shouldn't tell Stephano. Mr. Chair would probably be even more pissed off."_ "When are we leaving?"

"In a few minutes," the leader said, guiding him back to the main living space. "I see you've changed."

"I look gay!"

Stephano sighed and shook his head. "Now you know how I think Piggeh feels."

Said swine was in the refrigerator, stuffing his face before leaving. "Hey! It's not called being gay. It's called being _fabulous~!_"

Mr. Chair was having a mental breakdown. _"How could I have been so careless?"_ he thought, sitting on his desk chair, resting his head in his hands. _"Now he's going to tell everyone what he saw. I can't allow that!"_ A small stream of hot, salty tears ran rivers down his youthful cheeks. He needed to adjust his glasses to wipe them away. _"Nobody is being sacrificed… Nobody… Not even to open the door…"_

"Mr. Chair!" Piggeh called from the kitchen. "Come on, we're leaving without you!"

"I'm coming! Just let me get Jesus," Mr. Chair called back, trying to calm his nerves. He reached for the small cage that wasn't much bigger than a football (American or otherwise) that held the little fairy and started to descend the staircase.

_"No matter what happens, I'll protect my bros until the very end."_

By the time he was down the stairs and with his friends, Martin and Agrippa were also there, paying their respects.

"Farewell, you all," Agrippa said in good spirits, a wide, grotesque smile forming on his burnt face.

"Don't die," Martin said, brushing them off and crossing his arms.

Little footsteps running up the stairs could be heard before the unlocking of three locks, and Torchy was running toward them with a flat box in hand. "Wait!" he called. "Don't go yet!"

Everyone turned to the little boy, who was panting from the sudden burst of energy. The mage handed the box to Felix.

"Open it. It's yours."

The human took off the wooden cover. The whole box was in the shape of a casket, which made him feel ominous. When he peeked inside, the metal of a dagger glinted in the light. The blade was finely crafted with intricate patterns with woven silver at the hilt and decorated with rubies as red as spilt blood. The handle was a black leather, comfortable to hold and hardly used. The weapon looked like it was just made with its blade almost a foot in length.

"It's so beautiful," Felix stated, looking it over.

Torchy smiled, folding his hands behind his back. "I made it for you. It's bad to go without protection of your own. For all we know, those three might be fighting away and you won't have anything to protect yourself."

Felix was too engrossed with the magical weapon to notice the voice. Torchy knew, but he continued to speak away in hopes that the others would remember.

"This weapon, like all others, is strongest when your emotions are great. This means that when you are exceptionally angry or sad, you'll be able to do the most damage to the Grunts and others. I'm sorry it's not as big or intimidating as the others' weapons, but it'll do, since I figured you wouldn't be able to carry such heavy things for so long and your mental capacity wouldn't be able to comprehend alchemy."

"Hey." Felix heard the last part. He went to scratch his head with the tip of the dagger but Mr. Chair pulled him away last second.

"Don't!"

"Well, if that's all there is, then we'll be off," Stephano said. He lead the way through the door, into the darkness of Brennenburg Castle. "Take care."

The rest waved their goodbyes. Felix was still staring at his weapon. _"So shiny…"_

...

"I'm a snake!" Piggeh said for the thirtieth time, weaving his way in front of the others with lots of energy. He was always the most energetic of the group, and surprisingly had more ADD than Felix, causing him to do these things for fun. "I'm a snake! Yeah!"

They were walking through a dark, musty hallway made completely from stone. Stephano decided to go through the stone path since it lead to the first floor, which they rarely went to. Nobody had objections, but they were all on guard with the exception of Piggeh because the ground was slowly becoming deeper and deeper in water. Soon, they knew, would be a time when the Kaernks made themselves known.

Piggeh was running in a pattern unknown to others, arms spread wide and grin plastered to his face. He was so lost in his own fantasies that he didn't notice the box in front of him. "I'm a sna—OW!"

"Piggeh!" Mr. Chair called, jogging over. "Be careful! Are you alright?"

The purple-headed klutz rubbed the back of his head. It would just add another bruise to the rest of his corporal collection. "Y-yeah…" As he stood up and Mr. Chair was too busy lecturing him, Piggeh checked out the contents of the box that had spilled its insides onto the floor. "Hmmm… Laudanum… Sanity potion… Hm? _OH HELL YES!"_ Holding a large bottle above his head, he danced in his spot, waving the other two over.

"What is it, Piggeh?" Stephano asked, seeing only a black bottle in the dim light. They only had one lantern, and it was running out of oil what with the sparse torches and nothing else.

Piggeh laughed, holding the bottle for everyone to see. "Read the label: Pinot Noir Red Wine, 1983!"

"So?" Stephano asked, raising an eyebrow.

Piggeh looked appalled. "One does not simply discard thirty-year-old wine! That would be a shame!"

The gold man placed his hands on Piggeh's, slowly taking the wine from his face. "We are not drinking any time soon."

The pig laughed before snatching the edge of Stephano's tunic, pulling it up. "Well then just stick it up your ass for later like you always do!" The other man's gasps could be heard echoing throughout the otherwise piercing silence as he patted hands away.

"Why don't you hold it?!" Stephano accused, stepping back and holding his tunic down. "I don't carry that crap."

Piggeh gasped again, loudly. "Thirty-year-old wine is not crap! It's a delicacy, and we don't just stumble upon it every day. We'll take it home when we're done and do shots! Just us four!"

Stephano shook his head. "You're delusional."

"Actually, I think he had a good idea," Felix laughed. "Let's get drunk! Yeah! Please?"

"Pewdie!"

"Now someone's with me!" Piggeh laughed, linking their elbows. "We don't need Stephano. Let's get drunk together, and maybe after, we could, you know…" He licked his lips while leering at Felix, who suddenly started to feel uncomfortable with his decision.

The gold leader sighed, obviously pissed that Piggeh was getting so much renown. "Fine, you can take it," he said. "But I'm not carrying it."

"Yeah! I'm pumped!"

They had been traveling along with turmoil setting in their back, feet, and stomachs. Everyone tried their shot at starting a good conversation, but it died quickly. Nobody was in the mood for this never ending road as they needed to hop on boxes and residue to make it to the other side. It was a sick joke, to think they would find others here.

"I think I see another room at the end of this one," Stephano said, balancing on a boulder that threatened to cause him to slip. "Let's head to it. I think it's safe."

Everyone nodded, even Piggeh who tried shooting at the water monster with his twin handguns. He was only ever focused when fighting. He needed to be, because he would protect his friends from a distance. They hopped from one floating piece of debris from the next, heading swiftly to the annex. That was, everyone except for Felix.

"A little help here, guys!" the gamer called, quickly starting to lose his balance. He waved his arms out to his sides, but it did little to stop the Kaernk from trying to make him fall.

Piggeh turned from where he was to start shooting at the monster. "I see you're not done," he said sadistically. "You want a little more of _this?_"

Stephano jumped from box to barrel, grabbing Felix's arm where he stood. "Come on, you pussy! Jump! Run!" Piggeh's soul bullets only served to aggravate the monster further, pushing the two to get to the safe haven faster. "Run, run, run!"

"I _am_ running, dammit!"

"_RUN FASTER YOU PUSSY!"_

Stephano eventually had to push Felix through the crude wood door that was being held by the anxious Mr. Chair. Piggeh hurried in behind, slamming it shut. Everyone was panting from an adrenaline high, slowly starting to relax in the small room. There were no beds, just a desk, chair, and books. It was very cramped for four adults, but it would have to do.

"Let's go to sleep," Mr. Chair suggested.

"On the floor?" Felix asked, not believing what he was hearing.

Stephano glared at him before sitting in the corner. "You see a bed here? Idiot."

"Hey…"

As they all started to settle down and spread out on the hardwood floor, their breathing slowed and crashed. Piggeh smirked from his spot next to Mr. Chair. "So who's going to tell us a bedtime story?"

"Bedtime story?" Felix asked. "How old are you guys?"

"Oh come on, nobody's too old for a nice bedtime story. Hey, let's burn some books and make a campfire. If we put it on some metal or stone, it won't burn through the floor." He got up and started to fish through the desk. Piggeh found nothing of importance. "Alright, time to combine our weapons."

Stephano and Felix hesitantly took out their blades. "I don't see the point in this," Felix stated, handing it to Piggeh, who piled his pistols, Stephano's sword, and his dagger in the center. "These weapons can't melt, so they'll act as a base for the book we're going to burn. Cool, huh? Mr. Chair, choose the book of doom."

The Alchemist giggled as he checked out the bookcase, looking for a fat one to burn, as well as some Martin might like to read one day. He eventually pulled out a copy of Witchcraft for Dummies and placed it on the pile of metal. With a snap of his fingers, a spark alighted and quickly spread.

Felix stared at his friend. "You can control fire too?"

Mr. Chair nodded. "Alchemists and Mages aren't far apart. It's just that we need another substance with the same elements, whereas Mages need mana to cast spells. My brother Red used to tell me all about this stuff. He was a Mage…" He then trailed off, not wanting to go on about the subject.

"So I guess being an Alchemist isn't hereditary," Felix said. "Weird."

Mr. Chair shook his head, settling down again near the fiery warmth that spread throughout the cold, hard room. "I guess it is. Mayo and Bluey were also Alchemists. Red was the only Mage. That's how Bluey came to be here, since she wasn't from Amnesia. She was a 'project' that came back to bite Red later, but she's still a big sister to me."

"Ah, I see," the gamer said, growing silent. "How come I don't see any of her?"

"Pewdie," Stephano said from his spot, looking angry in the firelight. "We don't need to talk about our pasts. Especially ones with tragedy."

Piggeh let out a sarcastic laugh, laying down with his hands cushioning his head. "Wouldn't be the first time. All of us have a tragic back story no matter how you look at it."

Stephano kicked him. "This isn't the time."

"What better a time?"

"It's okay," Mr. Chair said, rethinking his story. "If you must know… well… there's a saying here. It's 'Souls aren't made nor killed. They just _are_. They always live, whether you see them or not, just waiting for a body.'"

Felix slowly nodded. "Alright?"

"So…" Mr. Chair said, tapping his fingers together. "That means that, even before you saw us in our humanized forms, far before you started playing, our souls were inside the game. They were made with the game, possessing the game. And there are countless more, just waiting to inhabit a body for their own to become material."

The gamer didn't quite understand, but decided to go along with it. He nodded, pressing for more.

"So Red, Bluey, Mayo, and I were here as a family, already three Alchemists and a Mage. We were like this for a long time."

"Okay, I got that."

Mr. Chair took a deep breath. "Alright… Here's my story…"

_Is anyone else wondering what happened to Jesus?_

Next chapter might be Mr. Chair's back story. I promise to gradually introduce their back stories one at a time. I'm quite interested in Mr. Chair's back story in particular because it has VERY IMPORTANT facts for the future.

I might hold a contest for a new cover image for this story. Of course, there will be a reward. Comment if you're possibly interested.

Until next week! Bye~!


	6. Rules

_"It used to be so docile, just Red, Mayo, and I."_

He entered the room with his normal red bomber, his regular red beanie, and jeans ripped like always. And yet when he laid eyes on his younger brother, he looked different in the eyes of the beholder. Something about him seemed different. Because they had lived with each other, fed off of each other, and thrived together, it wasn't hard to spot the smallest freckle or scratch mark on the other.

"Red, where have you been?"

The middle brother had been busy putting the toddler to sleep in the corner, as always. Red was always out and about, leaving him to take care of the youngest of them. They were great caretakers nonetheless, and each cared for the other. They were the perfect, ideal group of brothers.

Red smiled and approached the little thirteen-year-old, slipping off the green beret and ruffling soft brown hair. "Hey, little guy. How's Mayo been?"

"Well, I got him to sleep at least."

"Did he drink his milk?"

"Um… Well…"

Red raised a brow and crossed his arms. "Chair, you know it's important for him to have some nutrition. He's only three."

Chair sighed. "I know, I know. But, he didn't want to, and he was so tired." The hausfrau hung his head in shame. "I can't be a mother. It's too bad Mom died."

The eldest brother, who was far into his prime, smirked. "Perhaps you won't need to soon," he said, leaving the other hanging. "Let me see Mayo."

Chair nodded and guided him to the far corner. Buried deep into covers of a crudely made children's bed was their blonde baby brother, sighing softly in his sleep. Tufts of light blonde angel hair poked out of the stained sheets and chubby, untrained cheeks dusted over with rose clicked and slurped, submersed by his dream.

"This cheeky cherub," Red commented, sliding a rough, calloused hand over a soft cheek. "He doesn't yet know of this cruel world we live in. I hope he never loses such innocence."

"Me too, Red."

The eldest brother turned and smiled toward Chair. "Will you always protect him?"

"That's what I've always been doing."

"But even when we get older," Red said sadly. "And somehow, we split up. Will you protect Mayo's innocence with your life?"

This question seemed absurd to the youth. "Of course I will!" he answered, completely sure of his answer. "He's my baby brother…"

The adult smiled and ruffled his hair again, setting a pair of glasses askew. "Good boy. Oh, sport, I have to tell you something."

"Hm?"

Red flushed. "Let's sit down for this. I need to confess."

_"What Red said that day completely changed my view of him."_

The two brothers walked over to a small sitting area at the other side of the safe haven. "Sit." Chair sat without thinking, being obedient like always. Red paced in front of him, trying to think of a way to explain what he did. "You see, even though I didn't come back with food, aid, or the like, I have come with something special."

"What is it?" Chair said, almost robotically.

Red smirked in response. "I realized that I was not an Alchemist, like you." Chair was about to ask what he was talking about, but he was cut off. "Now hold on, let me speak. I met someone out there who gave me the power of a Mage."

"What's a Mage, Brother?"

"A Mage is a person much more powerful than an Alchemist, Chair," Red explained, vigorously pacing now, speaking with his hands. "Mages don't need to use a Philosopher's Stone to create something out of the blue."

"But that would destroy the balance of the universe!" Chair said worriedly, standing up. He was only as tall as his brother's shoulders. "If there's no equivalent exchange, there is no order! Chaos will strike, I just know it!"

"Calm down, Chair!" Red commanded, placing a hand on his little brother's shoulder. "It's okay. With this new power of mine that the stranger granted me, I will only use it for good."

"How do you know it's a good power if it was from a stranger?"

"The boy who gave it to me was only about eleven."

_"And then the moment she came into our lives…"_

Chair inspected the book he was given before Red headed out on the hunt, to hone his new powers. Philosophy and Religion was the title, and he could only assume that it explained exactly that. With different parts came different topics that stood on the edge of controversy and blasphemy. It was hardly a book that a normal thirteen-year-old could understand, but Chair was extremely intelligent for his age. His mother had always complimented him on that.

He flipped through the pages, looking at the ink pictures and other footnotes. "Red sure went out of his way," he said to himself in awe. "This even has information on occult rituals, the Philosopher's Stone… And even how to make different body parts out of the elements. It's everything an Alchemist like me needs to know."

Chair was violently ripped out of his reverie when a high pitched squeal tore through the silence. "Mayo!" he scolded, shutting his book and putting it on the table. "I tried feeding you before but you weren't hungry."

The little three-year-old rubbed his mud brown eyes as he sobbed to himself, sitting up in his mattress. In moments, he was picked up and swept into Chair's arms. "B-brother!" he cried.

Chair held his brother to his chest and tucked him under his neck, bouncing him up and down. "There there, little one," he shushed. "The dreams again? I told you they weren't real."

This made Mayo cry harder, getting the green sweater vest wet with hot tears. "So real!" he said with his limited vocabulary. "So real!"

"Want something to eat?"

"N-no!"

Chair sighed. Mayo almost never ate anything. He continued to hold the toddler to his chest as he sauntered to the ice box that held most of the food. "It'll make dreams go away," he lied. Though, in truth, eating would help anyone's mood.

"Don't want it!"

The younger brother's cries slowly died down the more Chair held him and rocked him like a mother. He cried himself to sleep sooner or later, laying lax on slim, wet shoulders. It was when Chair decided to settle down with Mayo on his chest that the door swung open.

"Red, where have you—"

His eyes flashed over a woman he had never seen before. Blonde hair chopped up and partially hidden by a blue knit beanie, she stared back at him with emotionless crystal eyes. Her tight blue blazer made her average chest pop out and her tan pleated skirt hid everything above her knees. She looked slightly older than Red, perhaps more mature. But she couldn't be older than 30.

Chair took a step away from her. "W-who are you?" He cradles Mayo closer to his chest with eyes wide, trembling in fear. He was terrible at alchemy at the moment, and couldn't fight for Mayo well. That's why he never left the annex.

The woman took a step toward him.

"Stay back!" Chair commanded, squeezing Mayo to his chest and causing the younger to wake up. "Stay away. Identify yourself!"

She frowned deeply at the toddler, and said in a voice mature and dignified, "You'll hurt him." The woman came forward without hesitation and whisked Mayo out of Chair's arms.

"H-hey!"

Rocking the baby brother back to sleep, using a true motherly charm, she smiled. "There. You would have woken him up. As to be expected from a man."

"Bluey!"

Everyone looked to the door where a flustered Red stood. He was panting, as if he had run a long distance, but even so, he still seemed somewhat relaxed and poised.

"Bluey, I told you to wait."

Chair looked out from behind the woman to his big brother. "Who's Bluey?"

"Your new big sister," Red smiled, walking over. "I decided that having a big sister to cook and clean while taking care of Mayo would help you a lot. After all, you've had to take care of him ever since he was practically born. Maybe now I can teach you to fight."

The youth looked up at the blonde woman. "So… she's here to help?"

"In a nutshell, yes. You'll be able to have feminine influence now, just like you should. And having a maid isn't a bad thing, you know."

_"But things got worse and worse. I loved Bluey as a sister. She helped me when I got hurt during my long and tedious training. But as I saw Red less and less and started going out on my own, I noticed rifts forming between the two. They no longer regarded each other as siblings like they once did. They were enemies, and I could see their hatred in each other's eyes. While Bluey stayed at home to take care of Mayo and I was out trying to gather whatever food and drink I could find, I lost Red. He told me not to follow him. I never did. I shouldn't have listened. Perhaps if I did…"_

"This is the eighth time!" Bluey screeched, pulling at her chopped hair. Those two were fighting once again while they thought Chair was sleeping. It had been happening for countless nights, Chair had stopped counting. It would always be about something else, but that would never stop his worry that they would eventually kill each other.

"Screw you!" Red yelled from the doorframe, a light sheen of a blush glazing his cheeks. He was drunk, that was obvious. "I can drink whatever I want. You don't own me!"

"I beg to differ!" Bluey slammed her fist on the table. "Every night, you've snuck out and went drinking God-knows-where and I'm sick and tired of it! You always turn into a fucking monster when you come back. We have two children in the house. Have you no shame?!"

"Stop talking like we're a fucking married couple!" Red snapped. "I made you! You should be obeying me! I can take your life just as easily as I brought you here!"

Chair caught his breath. He was staring wide eyed at the wall, trickles of tears streaming down one side of his face as he lay still on the mattress. Trembling, he didn't dare to turn and look at them, even though they were so submerged into fighting. "Please… Just stop…"

"You have a problem!" Bluey pressed, taking a step forward. "Just admit it and we can stop it. Think about Chair and Mayo!"

"They won't be affected." The man had just about had it. "It's you who I can't stand."

"Red, please!"

"Fuck off!" Red stepped out of the room, grabbing the door handle. "It's my life and I'm not going to let my little brothers hold me down! If you want to play the mother game, then fine! Don't let me ruin it for you, bitch! I'm going to the Barrels!"

"RED!"

Running toward the only man she knew, her master, her creator, she paused. He was already gone. Bluey felt tears starting to form at her eyes and she turned with a trembling lip, closing the door. Just as the first drop fell, she laid eyes for the first time that night on Chair's big emerald ones, filled with despair.

"Bluey…" Chair said, biting his lip and slowly getting up so as not to disturb Mayo's peaceful slumber. "… Is Red…?"

The ashamed big sister nodded wither her face turning red, tears now gushing from her eyes. She ran to Chair and pulled him into a hug, wetting his shoulder like a child. "C-C-chair! Ah-hah… H-he's g-g-gone! He's g-gone!"

_"I think our final farewell was even more tearful than the night my brother left."_

"I need to go," Bluey said, packing her things. Chair watched her sadly from the couch, sitting upright with a plastic expression while Mayo was doodling a picture in the corner. The amount of tears shed in the past three days was leaving him dehydrated, and he felt he could shed no more. "Be a good boy. Don't talk to strangers, don't trust strangers. If you run into one, run. Take care of your brother with your life. Don't leave him alone for a second. I left some cooked pig meat in the ice box and the laudanum is in the cabinet, fully stocked. Don't drink more than four laudanum a day, otherwise you'll get dizzy, and be sure to eat as much as you want. You're a growing boy hitting puberty one of these days, so you're going to get hungry. Brush your teeth and keep your clothes clean, as well as the sheets. Be assertive if Mayo doesn't eat, you know he needs to. I should be back in three days, maybe more…"

Chair nodded to all of these conditions he was willing to carry out, as long as he got to see his sister in three days or more.

Bluey filled her pockets to the brim with oil and sanity potions. When she finished, she turned to Chair with a sad smile. "I guess this is goodbye for now…" She pulled him into a hug, not ever wanting to go. "You are not Chair anymore. You are Mr. Chair. I grant you charge of the family in my absence."

"Bwewy!" Mayo called, getting up and waddling over to the two with his picture. "Hewe." He handed Bluey his doodle, a small, crude drawing of four people, each represented by a different color. The color blue was one of the tallest and had a small smile drawn in the general face area. Red was also equally as tall but had a saddened… or angered expression. The color green had a smile and was of middle height. Finally, the shortest was yellow and housed the largest smile of them all. All four figures were holding hands innocently as if they hadn't a worry in the world. "Take it!"

Bluey's heart shattered as her hand trembled to hold the picture to her chest, holding back tears. "T-thank you… Mayo…" She pulled him into a hug, her voice cracking harshly.

When she pulled away, she wiped her eyes. "I'll be back in four days… no more." Mr. Chair nodded as she turned to leave, face hot with sadness and humility, adorned with salty, flowing rivers.

_"Bluey wasn't back in four days, nor was she back in time for the food not to run out. I couldn't leave Mayo alone, I just couldn't. So I needed to take him with me. I would never forget that first day I took him with me. It was also my last."_

A long, happy tune was hummed through smiling cheeks, puffed with excitement. It was Mayo's first day outside the annex, and he was soaking up everything his large brown eyes could suck. Mr. Chair smiled at his brother's innocence, pushing up his glasses and walking next to him.

"Be careful, Mayo. Don't fall down, the ground will hurt you," he said lightly. Mayo didn't listen, but he supposed he didn't need to. They would be approaching a muddy area soon, where the dead pigs were kept.

It wasn't too late to hear the rumble of something heavy rolling across a ramp and inevitably crashing where the two brothers once stood, now to the side and holding one another for dear life.

"Whoa!" Mr. Chair exclaimed, holding Mayo protectively. "That was close!"

As their eyes filled with shock couldn't be taken from their almost-assassins, it was hard not to notice the piece of paper that was almost completely crushed by one of the boulders. Mr. Chair went to grab it, and thank goodness it wasn't ripped in half as he pulled, because he couldn't believe his eyes. His mind went blank the moment he scanned it, then scanned it again with a growing look of horror.

"What is it?" Mayo asked innocently.

Mr. Chair gulped, clenching his fists and slightly rumpling the page. "I-I don't think…" he started. "… That Bluey is coming back." He then showed Mayo the picture. It was the same picture he had given Bluey the day she left.

But the baby brother didn't understand. "Let's go," he said abruptly, wrenching Mr. Chair from his reverie. He wasn't hungry, but he knew that Mr. Chair needed food.

"R-right," Mr. Chair answered, rolling up the page and placing it in his pocket. He wasn't going to throw away something as dear as that. The two kept walking until the two were nearly at the lair of the dead pigs, but something was off. "Stop, Mayo," Mr. Chair commanded, and the little blonde tot stopped. They stood in deafening silence, waiting until they heard the sound of heavy, unsteady footsteps. "… It's a Grunt…" he said, gritting his teeth. Just what he needed. He was slowly getting better at alchemy, but was still limited in the ways. And he needed to protect Mayo… "Hide behind the boulders! Now!"

The authority in his voice was foreign, and yet, Mayo understood the gravity in such words. He ran all the way behind the large rocks and waited for his brother.

The Grunt made its presence known with a groan, and smiled with its eyes at the headstrong Mr. Chair, who stood at the ready while putting on his Alchemist gloves. Raising its spiked arm, ready to bring it down on the beautiful face, the human was able to dodge and attack back. He couldn't be afraid, for Mayo's sake… and Bluey's.

It took only one rock the size of a tennis ball, or so he thought, to knock him off balance. "Oof!" Mr. Chair exclaimed as he hit the ground roughly, his glasses being knocked over completely. "M-my glasses!" Large tipped claws came down and gouged at his cheek, causing him to flip over and scream from the force and pain.

"Go away, fucker!"

A loud crack of two gunshots simultaneously pierced the Grunt's small brain from different directions, and the monster fell to the ground with a loud thud next to the youth, spilling warm blood everywhere.

Mr. Chair held his cheek in shock, sprawled around the mud in a mess. His glasses weren't anywhere within his reach, and he was starting to worry. "Mayo…" he whimpered to himself. It hurt to talk, to move his mouth.

_"I guess it wasn't a complete loss. I mean, I met someone very special that day."_

"… Are you okay?" someone asked off to the side.

The poor Mr. Chair blinked and tried to make out the other person in the room. It wasn't his brother's voice. This voice was smooth and suave, interlaced with a permanent smirk. It was definitely a male, perhaps a couple years older than himself, despite the many shades of purple he saw in a blur. Mr. Chair got on his hands and knees, looking up to the crouched form. "C-can you help me? M… my glasses."

The other person looked around, walking around him. "I don't see… ah! Here they are." He picked up the mud covered spectacles and wiped them off with his brown, sleeveless hoodie before handing them back to Mr. Chair. "I need water to clean them properly. Sorry."

Mr. Chair blinked as the world came into focus. He laid eyes on his newfound friend, taking in the dead purple hair and lifeless grey eyes, accompanied by two pig ears twitching slightly on top of his head. "Who are you? Where did my little brother go?"

"Hold on, sexy little thing," the boy said. He was probably about fifteen. "Let's get to a brighter area. Then we talk."

Mr. Chair nodded in agreement and stood, gagging at his clothes that were now covered in the heavy brown mud. "I'm so filthy!"

The boy smirked as he led Mr. Chair down a corridor. "I don't mind if you want to walk around naked," he said with a wink.

The brunette gasped. "Just who do you think you are?!"

"I've gone by many names in my family. Jennifer and Sammy Sue usually just call me Piggeh."

* * *

"Piggeh and I traveled for a while until we met Stephano and Skully later on," Mr. Chair said, tapping his fingers together in anxiety. "I never saw Jennifer, nor had I seen Sammy Sue or Mayo, or even Red or Bluey. I want to see them again. I suppose the real reason I'm in the Bro Army is because I can travel in safety, and that increases my chances of meeting them again. I just…" He held his head and sniffled, his face turning red. "I miss them. It has been almost five years and I'm scared…"

Everyone was left in deadly silence as Mr. Chair started to cry, huddled into himself, not showing his face to everyone. Piggeh had the guts to slide next to him and wrap a comforting arm around his lithe shoulders while Stephano stared into the fire with a somber expression. Felix was completely shocked at what he just listened to. Sure, it was long and tedious, but it was so sad at the same time, he felt himself start to feel gloomy too.

"Well…" he started. "What happened to Skully? I don't see him around."

"He left," Stephano said without emotion. "He broke the rules too many times."

Felix perked and looked to him. "There are rules?"

The tension in the room started to ease as a new conversation was picked up. "They're mostly to keep Piggeh from raping anyone at night."

"Hey! I have standards!" the pig chimed.

"The rules apply to everyone in the Bro Army within Amnesia," Stephano went on. "If they break any of them, then they can be tried before the rest of us like a jury. If they are found guilty, they are kicked out. We try not to do this often, as the barrels also have the power to take souls and personify them, as if they are making bodies."

Felix thought. "I think there's a gap here," he said. "What's the difference between having a body with a soul and just having a soul if we can still interact with each other?"

"It's a very slight difference, not one I can explain," Stephano admitted. "Mr. Chair, if you're feeling okay, can you unleash Jesus?"

Mr. Chair nodded and wiped his eyes, reaching to his belt and unlatching the small cage, opening it. From inside came a small wisp of white light, which flew over to Felix. As the light slowly subsided, a small body with only a piece of cloth around the waist was visible.

"Jesus?" Felix asked. The wingless pixie nodded.

"I was the first experimental body that Mr. Chair made," Jesus explained. "I am small and travel sized. Where Martin and Agrippa are all the way over to the annex, I can come with you and help you with my knowledge."

"Whoa, that's cool," Felix admitted. "So what element are you?"

"I am the element of Air, a Mage," Jesus said. "As to be expected from the son of God. Though I am too small to cast major spells, as I always was, but I can help with cuts and bruises, as well as share my wisdom."

"Okay, so what's the difference between having a body and not having a body?"

"Having a body allows the person a wider range of vision as well as strength and power. It allows a stronghold to let magic manifest for greater, well, everything. It enhances the soul and allows people with bodies to see them. You, Martin, and I are different. Our bodies were not made by magic. They were made from Mr. Chair's alchemy. Everyone else has perfect bodies where we have flaws. We do not act as strongholds for magic. Instead, we can simply be seen and nothing else." Jesus paused to let Felix soak the information in.

The gamer was lost. "Just… in English? Or Swedish if you can."

Jesus' eyebrow twitched. "Our bodies were made out of alchemy, so we can't become faster, stronger, or more powerful like the others."

Felix slowly nodded.

"The bodies made by the unknown magical surge—Stephano's, Piggeh's, Mr. Chair's, Agrippa's—can."

"Goddamn it," Felix said, scratching his head. "I want to be that badass."

"Well, it seems you understand the gist of it," Jesus said, resting on his shoulder gently. "Any other questions?"

"Yeah. How can I become badass like these fuckers?"

Stephano cleared his throat. "Relay the rules for him, please."

"No problem," Jesus said, cracking his tiny knuckles and rolling his head, his brown wavy locks getting whipped. "First off, no having sex with other members of the Bro Army."

"Why would I want to do that?!" Felix asked, stricken with shock.

"Because we're sexy," Piggeh intervened with a lick to his lips.

"It's to keep him from raping everyone," Jesus said, jutting his chin toward the swine. "Number two, no severe violence with other members. Roughhousing is part of a swordsman's and gunner's nature, so it's normal to get into fights ever so often. Severe violence is when they take out their weapons and start killing each other. That was why Skully was kicked out; he attacked Stephano and tried to kill him because he was no longer used by you. He was furious that the new French guy was so popular and nobody remembered him."

"Wow," Felix said, thinking it over. "Sounds like I'm the cause of all of this."

"It's not your fault, Pewdie," Stephano said. "You didn't know this would happen, of course. Skully was a spineless bastard with a hard head. We were all glad he was kicked out."

Jesus sighed. "Number three, we are not allowed to have any sort of contact with anyone from the Barrels, Teleporting Naked Guys, Untrusted Statues, or anyone affiliated with them. Fighting and killing them is alright, but willfully being friendly with them or having sex with them is completely against the rules. If one breaks any of these rules, they are subject to immediate trial in the Bro Army unofficial court to be found guilty or not guilty and are responsible for whatever their sentence may be."

Felix nodded. "I think I get it," he said, letting out a short yawn.

"We should sleep," Stephano chipped, passing a glance at the half-sleeping Mr. Chair. "We'll regain our strength and look for food when we wake up."

"I'm in," Piggeh said, stretching his arms and laying down, curling up on the hard floor next to his beloved comrade. "I've had enough of this share-and-tell time. Unless someone wants to—"

"NO!"

"Fine," Piggeh said as everyone else settled down, the fire slowly dying in the middle. "Fine."


	7. Brother

"Go back to sleep."

Unevenness coursed through his body ever since the end of Mr. Chair's story, he couldn't help but keep his eyes wide open in a predator stance. Apparently he wasn't alone. Felix turned and swept his eyes over the room only to find Stephano looking back at him. He sat up and was looking toward the burned book that had long since gone out, leaving a dank smell of ash filling the room.

"You should store your energy for the traveling ahead," Stephano stated, looking slightly pissed at his master. "I can't stand for you to get tired in the middle of walking, or worse, a fight. And I'm not picking up your slack either."

"So cruel," Felix thought, laying his head back down onto his arm, which was the only thing in the blasted room that provided comfort. "Fine, fine," he groaned. "But I can't promise that anything will come out of it."

As he closed his eyes, tossing and turning to get his body somewhat comfortable, the faint sound of footsteps came closer to him. Moments brought warmth to his back as someone lay right behind him. It was dark and cold, and yet the warmth that was not quite touching his back was comforting.

"Go to sleep," Stephano commanded, his breath hitting the gamer's ear. "I'll be here if you can't."

"So you can lull me to sleep? Oh that's so sw—"

"No, so I can knock you out cold if I need to."

Felix and Stephano chuckled lightly to themselves, lost in their own new bubble as the gamer turned to face his bro. "Jeez, Stephano. Why are you always mean to me?"

The other shook his head. "It's not that I'm mean to you, it's just that you never fucking listen to me when I'm talking to you. If you listened more, then I wouldn't need to push for your attention."

"Whatever," the gamer said, looking away. "I'm still having a hard time."

"A hard time with what?"

"Believing that this isn't all a dream."

The two were quiet for a moment, thinking of an answer. Stephano finally sighed in resignation and said in a slightly louder voice, "I don't care what you believe in. You can believe it's a dream or not. I don't care about that. As long as you're willing to fight with us instead of the barrels, I'm fine."

The other smiled. "Well that sure clears everything up," he laughed sarcastically. It was then that Felix felt a sharp kick to his calf from behind. "Ow!"

"Will you two stop spooning and shut up?!" Piggeh whispered angrily, trying to keep Mr. Chair from waking up. "Jesus, you two are loud. Must you have an orgy without me?"

Stephano gasped and kicked him back. "We weren't doing anything of the sort! Piggeh!"

"Shhh!"

Mr. Chair rubbed his eyes as he slowly sat up and put on his glasses. "W-what's happening?"

"Oh great," Piggeh accused. "Now you made Mr. Chair wake up."

"Hey, it was your fault!"

"How was it my fault? You and Pewdie just think you can talk whenever you want."

"Well, you're the one closest to Mr. Chair. You were obviously the loudest one being heard. You're always speaking loudly even when you whisper."

"Guys," Mr. Chair groaned. "Not this again. Can we not fight for one night?"

Piggeh and Stephano sighed irritably. Jesus shook the sleep off of himself and stretched on Felix's stomach.

"Are we going or not?" the pixie asked. "Because it sounds like everyone is lively."

"We are not leaving yet," Stephano said, laying down again next to Felix. "We're all still tired."

"Sucks to be you all then. You've all wasted so much time fighting with each other that you forgot that it has been four hours since we said goodnight."

Felix groaned. "Only four hours?! I'm not going to survive if that's all we get."

Piggeh and Mr. Chair also settled down again. "Three more hours," the pig begged, cuddling the middle of the chair's shoulder blades. "Three more hours…"

Jesus sighed. "No wonder I just stay in my cage all the time while you guys do the walking. You're all a bunch of cheap, lazy assholes."

Stephano jolted into a sitting position. "What did you say about us, you damn piece of shit?!"

"You heard me."

The stubborn man quickly snatched for the pixie that stood on Felix's stomach as if it was his business, but Jesus floated away, out of reach.

"Damn, Stephano. You're getting old. Your reflexes aren't what they used to be~"

"Fuck you, I'm only 23!"

"But you act like Piggeh. Good-for-nothing and smells like shit."

The swine stood from his cozy position near Mr. Chair and growled. "Old fucking man! Your parents didn't even like you!"

"Hey, I saved everyone on Earth for relieving them from their sins. That's more than you two will ever live up to."

Grabbing their weapons and gripping them so tight, Stephano and Piggeh rampaged. "DIE, MOTHERFUCKER!" they yelled, starting to attack Jesus, who skillfully maneuvered out of the way of the sword and discharge of the pistols, which were undoubtedly very close to their pinnacle of power.

"Guys!" Mr. Chair said, trying to raise his voice above the silence shattering noise. "Stop fighting! It's only a ploy!"

As Jesus flew over to the hollow wood walls of the tiny room filled with shouts and accusing screams of anger, Piggeh was too red-eyed to help but shatter the boundary that long split the two areas. As soon as the wall caved in to the side of an antique bookcase, all sounds stopped except for the blast and shards of wood and rubbish hitting the floor.

Felix backed away slowly from the wall like an insecure lamb. "What is it?" he asked the swordsman, who was putting away his golden, unscratched blade and approaching the hole that now stood out from everything else like a sore thumb.

Stephano inspected the element as dust disappeared and was wisked away. "It's a hole to a corridor," he said matter-of-factly. "Good job, Piggeh. You blew it up with your discharge."

Piggeh chuckled, tucking his pistols back into his belt and rubbing the back of his neck. "Of course I knew it was always there. What's my reward? A kiss? An orgy?"

The golden man didn't have time for his partner. "Come along, we're going whether we're sleep-deprived or not." He lifted himself over the edge as Mr. Chair tucked the pixie back into the small cage connected at his belt, closing it tight.

"You did well, Jesus," he whispered with a slight smile. "Although, when I told you there was a hollow point in the wall, you didn't need to make them blow a gasket."

The mischeivous pixie shrugged. "Anything to get these lazy asses to move."

* * *

"I sense someone coming," a young boy no more than fifteen said. "They must be here already. I didn't see then arriving so soon. That fairy must have meddled. He's a mage too, after all."

"What do we do?" said a slightly deeper voice, thick with an accent. "Do we wait for them or do we intervene?"

The bed springs were slowly moved as a boisterous woman rolled around, her eternally bored expression cutting deep into her youthful face, layered with makeup. "Come on, Gonzales~ Don't leave me hot and bothered like this~" she whined, passing a glance to the third male in the room. "Red doesn't look like he's interested in me anymore~"

A man with charm resembling a prince smirked at the woman from the edge of the bed. "You know I can't take my hands off you," Red purred, leaning down close to her face, causing the woman to chuckle.

The boy sighed. "I've told you three many times. We wait until I give the signal. Be vigilant. It probably won't be until I can ruin each of their lives, but you'll all have your revenge."

Red perked, his light brown locks bouncing. "Revenge? Is this what the deal was all along?"

The woman giggled and squirmed from under him. "You didn't know?"

"No, I knew. I just… I thought I already got mine."

The boy shook his head. "Either way, you three work for me now. You all know what the plan is?"

The two men nodded and bowed. "Yes, your highness."

The woman hummed. "I don't know~"

"Well then learn, Sammy Sue!"

* * *

Slugging on along in the long, dark corridors was nover something Felix wanted to do. He would rather get bitten by Pooka-chan, the bug-eyed pug that resided back in his house on Earth, than to keep dragging his legs on the stone floor like this. Dehydrated, sleep-deprived, and hungry, the whole group trudged over the way.

When they completely ransacked the rooms and drank their fill of laudanum which was the only drink they could find, they moved onto another set of corridors which officialy won the title as "maze" for all the good it was going for the sad bunch.

"… Tired," Felix whined, leaning his hands on a table for a breather.

Stephano approached him, slightly less drowsy due to the training he had had all his life. "You said that already, you retard. Come on, we have no time to waste." He then checked the deep pockets on the underside of his tunic. "We're down to the last sanity potion and we're almost out of oil. We had better reach something good soon, otherwise let's book it."

"I don't see why we don't stop and rest," Piggeh said, leaning against the wall. It was serious Piggeh time, and nobody wanted that. "We're all tired and we just explored the place."

"We don't know if it's safe or not," Stephano said. "And it's unsafe to rest like this. For all we know, this area could have other dwellers than us, and I'm not just talking about the Grunts and Brutes."

Mr. Chair looked intensely at him, but said nothing.

"Then why don't we split into groups?" Piggeh asked once again with growing annoyance. He wanted to sleep just as much as Felix did, but he wasn't going to be granted it, and he knew.

"Because whichever group Pewdie ends up in," Stephano started, "Or whichever group that doesn't have me will fall asleep while the other two lose contact with them."

The pink male scoffed. "Says you. I have more self control than what you think I have."

"Says the man whose main point in conversation is rape and molestation. Which brings me to another point." Stephano glared at the swine. "Mr. Chair is our physically weakest member. At least Pewdie can punch the shit out of something. But Mr. Chair wouldn't dare to do that. How are we supposed to be sure that you won't try something on him?"

Piggeh gasped, instantly insulted. "You think I would do something to harm him?! Look, I know you're secretly sleep deprived as much as we are and that means you might as well be on your period, but that's insane. I would never hurt him like that, no matter how horny I might get."

Stephano rolled his eyes and laid the matter to rest. "Let's just leave. There's nothing here."

Piggeh growled and stole a glance at the chair, who looked worried. He knew inside that the innocent little Alchemist couldn't comprehend much of what they were talking about, but he must have known a few things. _"I hope he doesn't hate me for being myself,"_ he thought as he followed his leader out the door.

* * *

The ceiling was high and the walls just as wide, completely carved out of stone by the water that had long since eroded the cave. The floor was surprisingly even and soft. Stalagmites glittered the floor and a short layer of water was left to fictitiously tarnish the ground. Steady dripping of water from minute cracks in the ceiling echoed through the dark place as if they owned every letter to their name in the fortress with no end.

"Where are we?" a young, innocent voice asked as he and his friends walked inside, checking out the place. They had long since grew accustomed to the dark, their eyes had no problem making out the cracks in the stone.

"I don't know," a youthful woman sighed in response to her child. "But apparently this is safe from the Grunts and Brutes. We'll just have to make due. And we can probably avoid the others like this."

A young man scoffed. "I hate making due. I can take Stephano on myself."

"But you couldn't do that before!" the woman growled. "And I wouldn't want you to go on trial again."

"Feh, I'm not in the Bro Army anymore," he sneered. "They can't make me do anything."

"Be quiet," she said. "We were so lucky that Torchy gave us our bodies when we had nothing. We aren't souls anymore. We can actually do greater things. But Stephano has a body too, just like you. That means he's still more powerful than you."

"Shut up, Jennifer," the man snarled. "I've gotten much stronger. I am no longer hazed by the anger I felt toward him when Pewdie left me for him, not to mention those things he did to you when he hardly knew English."

Jennifer frowned. "Don't remind me. Just… please no. We both can agree that he was cruel when he stole everything I had, can we leave it at that? Please, Skully?"

The child looked between them, then at the entrance, something catching his eye.

Sully nodded, the animal skull he wore as a hat bouncing when he did so. "Yeah, I guess the only thing we got out of life was bad memories."

Jennifer pitched a smile. "It wasn't all bad. Like the time you and I met. Yeah, you were a bastard the first couple of days, but that doesn't mean anything now that we can all get along."

The child tugged on the hem of her grey jacket that shrouded the back of her plain black shirt.

The woman quirked a brow. "What is it?" The little boy pointed to the entrance where the brightness of a lantern was slowly unveiling in the darkness. Skully gestured for them to hide. After all, it could be one of those newly-improved intelligent Grunts finally finding out how to use a light source.

"I don't think we want to be here," Piggeh whispered. "It's huge and sterile. We have no reason to be here."

Stephano adjusted his shoulders as he handed his lantern to him. Felix was leaning heavily on the golden man, and would be asleep if it hadn't been for the fact that if he stopped his gait, then he would most definitely print his face in the ground. But Stephano gave him some comfort. After all, he wasn't accustomed to their ways. "We may as well. There might be something behind some stalagmites. Go and check, I'll set Pewdie down." Reaching behind and slipping a hand around the gamer's waist to keep him steady, he trotted over to the cave walls covered in mold and mildew and set him down.

_"I know that voice."_

Deciding to make his appearance like a classical villain, Skully walked through the shadows, slowly and carefully sliding his bone swords from his belt. Their eyes were used to the light, it would take them some time to adjust.

Piggeh sighed and put down his wine bottle next to Felix, who instantly collapsed for some rest. "You might need this when you search," he said, holding the softly glowing lantern to Stephano. "I just want to rest right now."

"Me too," Mr. Chair said. "This looks like a safe place to be, let's stay here for a while."

Stephano looked disgusted. "I'm not sleeping in shallow water like a boorish Pewdie," he stated. "This will only take a second before we can head to dry ground."

"Well then it looks like you'll never get to rest."

All three of them looked toward the voice with a certain alertness that had left them moments ago. Ears perked, Stephano shut off the lantern, not only saving their oil but helping their eyes adjust to the dark void quicker. "Who are you?" he asked, looking around. He suddenly felt protective, and slipped out his sword, getting it ready for an attack.

"You don't remember?"

"Stop shitting with us," Piggeh commanded, twirling his pistols in his hands.

Skully finally whispered into Mr. Chair's ear. "It's me, your old friend."

"ACK!" the Alchemist quickly pushed the swordsman away in fright. "S-Skully?!"

Skully chuckled, his deep amber eyes shining in the non-existent light. "Guilty is charged."

"Pewdie!" Jennifer called from the fissures. "You all came back to us!"

Stephano gritted his teeth, finally able to make out Skully's thin form. "You left us. We said that in compensation for letting you keep your body, you would be seen as an enemy to us, and that we could kill you on sight."

"I didn't leave you," the other said woefully. "You're the one that pissed me off. You were asking for all those wounds I gave you."

"Shut up!" the gold man spat, striking for Skully's chest but was caught by the other's sword. "Don't make excuses for what you did! You almost killed my body so you would be able to kill my soul. Don't lie!"

"Who said anything about lying?"

The two maneuvered out of the way, putting pressure on the enemy. Piggeh and Mr. Chair looked straight at Jennifer, who was running up to them. "Pewdie! Oh please, let me see him!"

The pig pointed his pistols at her. "Not a chance."

Jennifer stopped in her tracks before pulling out her own guns.

"Another gunner?!" Mr. Chair asked, looking shocked. From everything Piggeh told him about his childhood friend, he never mentioned that they both were of the metal element.

"Heh," the purple haired wonder chuckled. "Looks like you finally found a vessel to manifest your powers, Jennifer."

Jennifer smirked. "Looks like you aren't going to let me off the hook."

"I'm not going to let you hurt Pewdie."

"I don't want to hurt him. I just want to love him! Is that so hard to believe?"

Piggeh ran at her and started shooting at her, who instantly started hiding behind stalagmites and shooting back like a war zone. "I'll say! If I can't be with the one I love, then neither can you!"

Mr. Chair watched them in horror. "Be careful, Piggeh!" Something brown caught his eye and he turned to look. At first, it was just a short shadow, someone just standing there, mocking him. But as he made out the caramel colored overalls and blonde curls, there was no mistaking him. "Mayonnaise?!" he screamed, not believing his eyes. _"He looks so much older. He's got to be seven or eight right now. Oh god, how long has it been?"_

Going against beliefs, Mayo looked to his brother with dismay and curiosity. He had long since forgotten who the person who knew his name was, and was much too young to care. "Enemy," he accused.

"Mayo, no! It's me! Mr. Cha—"

"**ENEMY**!" the child screamed, using his alchemy to summon electricity, hitting his brother dead on. "Jennifer said not to listen to enemies. You're working with them. You're working with the barrels! I don't trust you!"

Not only was Mr. Chair heartbroken, but the electric shock sent him back, falling to the ground and tearing his bicep to shreds. He lay sprawled in the shallow water, refusing to fight back. "Mayo…" he said weakly. "Stop… It's me… your brother…"

"Liar," Mayo said, approaching him. "I don't have a brother."


End file.
